Elder M. Russell Ballard: Fathers and sons: a remarkable relationship | Deseret News
Jun 2, Fathers and Sons: A Remarkable Relationship This talk by Elder Ballard focuses on how to get fathers and sons talking to each other and. Oct 3, There are ways fathers and sons can help each other be their best, Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the twelve said during the. It is a wonderful sight to see all of you fathers sitting shoulder to shoulder with your sons to listen to the teachings of the Lord and receive counsel from the.
I sustain the position which he took. To you I say, do the very best you can. The greatest job that any mother will ever do will be in nurturing, teaching, lifting, encouraging, and rearing her children in righteousness and truth.
None other can adequately take her place. It is well-nigh impossible to be a full-time homemaker and a full-time employee. I know how some of you struggle with decisions concerning this matter. I repeat, do the very best you can. You know your circumstances, and I know that you are deeply concerned for the welfare of your children. Taking care of small, dependent, and demanding children is never-ending and often nerve-wracking.
Quality is a direct function of quantity—and mothers, to nurture their children properly, must provide both. To do so requires constant vigilance and a constant juggling of competing demands. It is hard work, no doubt about it. Sometimes you sisters may feel like the Brethren do not appreciate you and the important contribution you make to your families and to the work of the Lord. Six men will be dropped on an island with one van and four children each—for six weeks.
Each child plays two sports and either takes music or dance classes. There is no access to fast food. Each man must take care of his four children, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.
The men only have access to television when the children are asleep and all chores are done: There is only one TV, and there is no remote control.
The men must put on makeup daily, applying it themselves either while driving or while making four lunches. They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3: The children vote them off the island based on performance. The winner is the first one voted off who gets to go back to work. Never doubt, sisters, that you are the heart of the home. Your attitude—whether happy, sad, positive, or negative—will likely be reflected in the feelings of your husband and your children.
Faust has given very wise counsel: Women today are being encouraged by some to have it all—generally, all simultaneously: Doing things sequentially—filling roles one at a time at different times—is not always possible, as we know, but it gives a woman the opportunity to do each thing well in its time and to fill a variety of roles in her life. She need not try to sing all the verses of her song at the same time. Principles for Marriage and Families Let me quote again from the proclamation: Parents should work to create loving, eternal connections with their children.
Reproof or correction will, to be sure, sometimes be required. It can be equally destructive when parents are too permissive and overindulge their children, allowing them to do as they please. Help children understand the reasons for rules, and always follow through with appropriate discipline when rules are broken. It is important as well to praise appropriate behavior.
It will challenge all of your creativity and patience to maintain this balance, but the rewards will be great.
Helping children learn how to make decisions requires that parents give them a measure of autonomy, dependent on the age and maturity of the child and the situation at hand. To do this, parents must listen—really listen—to what their children are saying. They must know what is important to each child.
Fathers and Sons
I learned this lesson years ago from one of our daughters. She was only four or five at the time. She came into the room all excited. I was reading the newspaper, and she had something very much on her mind that was important to her. She grabbed my face between her hands so that she could look me right in the eye. This was a little four- or five-year-old teaching her father a great lesson: Family Councils As you would expect to hear from me, one of the best tools we have at our disposal as parents is the family council.
I cannot emphasize enough its importance in helping to understand and address challenges in the family. When members of one family began to feel unusual contention invading their home, they called a family council to discuss the situation. The father and then the mother explained to their children what they had observed and asked how each felt about it.
The mother and father learned that since their two oldest children had left home—one to be married and one to go to college—an unfair burden of responsibility had been unwittingly shifted to the two oldest children remaining at home, and they were becoming resentful. By counseling together and listening to what their children were feeling, a more equitable distribution of responsibility was made among the children, resolving much of the frustration and tension in the home see M. Deseret Book, ], I recognize that there are as many kinds of family councils as there are different kinds of families.
Family councils can consist of one parent and one child, of two parents and several children, of just two parents, or of just siblings, etc. Family councils can be a blessing in the lives of families and individual family members in this life and through the eternities. Through them we can draw closer to our families and closer to God.
As our families counsel together with the understanding that we are the family of God, we come to know that He loves us. We are precious to Him. He wants to help us. He wants to give us the support and help that we need in times of crisis.Why can't fathers and sons get along (3 Reasons Why)
We need to remember that our families are imperfect because they are made up of imperfect people. In all that we do, we must always remember that the voice of the Spirit is an essential component—and it is a still, small voice. Barbara and I have raised seven children, and there have been some traumatic, difficult challenges through the years.
She has taught me through firsthand, personal experience that you cannot teach nor cradle nor weld together a celestial, eternal family if there is contention in the home. If any of you are struggling with contention in your homes, you can change this.
The Sacred Responsibilities of Parenthood - BYU Speeches
Talk to your family. Ask for their help. More than 20 years ago, President Marion G. I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein.
The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. It is this spirit that will imbue us with sufficient spiritual strength to feel confident and patient in our family relationships.
In that same conference address, President Romney declared: If we would avoid adopting the evils of the world, we must pursue a course which will daily feed our minds with and call them back to the things of the Spirit. I know of no better way to do this than by daily reading the Book of Mormon. Remember, also, there is great power in prayer. I strongly encourage personal and family prayer—which are important in building strong families—but I want to emphasize something else as well.
If that has slipped away from your daily routine, may I suggest you put it back—beginning tonight! This is a great time to thank the Lord for your companion and for your children and for one more day together. My wife and I have had that practice for more than 50 years now.
When it is her night to pray, she offers a simple, wonderful prayer of gratitude; and when it is mine, I hope it is the same.
I want to bear witness to you that it makes a difference. I do not believe Lucifer can penetrate a marriage, or cause discord and misunderstanding within a marriage and the family, when parents take time to pray together. My remarks today have been primarily focused on the sacred roles of fathers and mothers. Please do not think I am unmindful or uncaring about the many married persons who have been denied the blessings of parenthood through no fault of their own.
I am also well aware of the heart-wrenching sorrow of so many who walk the paths of life alone without a faithful companion at their side. I testify to you, as a servant of God, that no meaningful blessing related to marriage and family will be denied you in the eternities if you will be strong, be loving, and stay faithful.
And never underestimate the influence for good you can be in the life of a sister, a niece, a brother, or a nephew. In conclusion, to parents everywhere, my counsel is simple: A Proclamation to the World. Then, be the very best and act the very best you can. God will give you strength beyond your own as you strive daily to fulfill the most sacred mortal responsibility He gives to His children.
Listen to the voice of the Spirit and the counsel of the living prophets. Be of good cheer. God did not place you on earth to fail, and your efforts as parents will not be counted as failure unless you give up. May our Heavenly Father bless each and every one of you. May the peace of the Lord abide in your own hearts and overflow into your homes and families.
I leave you my testimony that God lives. We are His children. Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior.
Ask for his counsel on your Church assignments, on preparing for your mission, on decisions or choices you have to make. In my experience, fathers who are asked for advice try harder to give good, sound, useful counsel.
By asking your father for advice, you not only receive the benefit of his input, but you also provide him with a little extra motivation to strive to be a better father and a better man. You will notice that there is some linkage between the three suggestions I am going to give you and the suggestions I just gave your sons. First, fathers, listen to your sons—really listen to them. Ask the right kind of questions, and listen to what your sons have to say each time you have a few minutes together.
Your sons live in a very different world from the one in which you grew up.
- Elder M. Russell Ballard: Fathers and sons: a remarkable relationship
- The Sacred Responsibilities of Parenthood
Find your own best way to connect. Some fathers like to take their sons fishing or to a sporting event. Others like to go on a quiet drive or work side by side in the yard. Some find their sons enjoy conversations at night just before going to bed. Do whatever works best for you. A one-on-one relationship should be a routine part of your stewardship with your sons. Every father needs at least one focused, quality conversation with his sons every month during which they talk about specific things such as school, friends, feelings, video games, text messaging, worthiness, faith, and testimony.
And oh, how fathers need to listen. Remember, conversation where you do 90 percent of the talking is not a conversation. Most of the time, the best thing you can do is just listen. Fathers who listen more than they talk find that their sons share more about what is really going on in their lives.
Dads, listen to your sons. Second, pray with and for your sons. Give them priesthood blessings. Occasions like the start of a new school year, a birthday, or as he begins to date may be opportune times to call upon the Lord to bless your son. One-on-one prayer and the sharing of testimonies can draw you closer to each other as well as closer to the Lord. I am mindful that many of you fathers suffer heartache over sons who have strayed and are being captured by the world, just as Alma and Mosiah worried about their sons.
Continue to do all you can to maintain strong family relationships. Never give up, even when fervent prayer in their behalf is all you can do. These precious sons of yours are your sons forever! Fathers, pray with and bless your sons. You know what I mean: Your boys need your counsel, guidance, and input on these subjects. As you talk about these very important matters, you will find that the trust between you will flourish.
I am especially concerned that we communicate openly and clearly with our sons about sexual matters. Your sons are growing up in a world that openly embraces and flaunts early, casual, and thoughtless promiscuity. Your sons simply cannot avoid the blatant sexual imagery, messages, and enticements that are all around them.
Fathers and Church leaders need to have open and frequent discussions that teach and clarify how young men of the priesthood handle this issue. Be positive about how wonderful and beautiful physical intimacy can be when it happens within the bounds the Lord has set, including temple covenants and commitments of eternal marriage.
Studies show that the biggest deterrent to casual sexual activity is a wholesome attitude that connects such personal relationships with genuine commitment and mature love. Now, in closing, I want to talk to all of you returned missionaries. Everything that I have said tonight also applies to you. You can be closer to him now than ever before regardless of what your relationship was like before your mission.
During the next few years, you will make the most important decisions of your life. Along with prayer to your Heavenly Father, advice from your earthly father can help you make those decisions concerning your education, career choice, and marriage. The most important decision you will make in this life is the decision to marry the right girl in the temple!
While no one should rush this significant decision, all returned missionaries should be working on it. Be where you can meet the right kind of friends. And go on dates. Hanging out is not the way, nor is it enough! Courting seems to be a lost art.
Ask your fathers—they know! Do not drift to the ways of the world. Rather, maintain the dignity and the Spirit you enjoyed on your mission.