Not discussing the end of a relationship

not discussing the end of a relationship

If you are contemplating leaving a long-term relationship, there are ways to do If you do so, you may still not be able to make a clean break, but you will be less Hopefully, you have had discussions, or even met with a therapist, before you. Ending a relationship is never easy - and it can be even harder if there is still I love my girlfriend but she always wants to discuss our relationship at the end of a relationship - even when the relationship might not have. When it comes to relationships, breakups can be sudden or they can be partner might be preparing to break up with you and end the relationship. no longer happy and all they can think of when talking about them is any.

Are too frightened to actually face their own unhappiness and take responsibility for it.

A Better Way to Break-Up: 20 Ways to Leave Your Lover | Goop

Want to punish their partner emotionally for what they have experienced as coldness, distance, or waning desire. Are addicted to novelty and idealization at any cost. Are unable to face the material consequences or insecurities of their decision to leave.

not discussing the end of a relationship

Blame their partner for their lack of success or dissatisfaction with their own life. Any of the choose-your-own-adventures above indicate that there is a lot of pain between lovers that has not been addressed in an appropriate way, and that a lot of collateral emotional damage could be spared if people felt good enough about themselves, and had the correct tools, to deal with immense fear, insecurity, and emptiness.

It takes tremendous courage to actually face relationship despair head on. Instead people bolt, cheat, lie, withdraw, get addicted to things, or trash the whole thing with an abrupt cut-off and hostile attack listing every imagined resentment and flaw. Rarely do people face each other and discuss the dying elephant in the room. To do so would be to take an honest look at the demise of the dream, the failing of the promises, and the personal sense of inadequacy and hopelessness that intimate relationship endings bring.

If we are to truly absorb and assimilate the grief of a coming ending—in its raw and undistracted state—we actually need to confront our own shortcomings. Both parties need to look at their parts in the deterioration of the connection and the many personal patterns or flaws that contributed to the dying of attraction and affection.

Why breakups are so hard and how to cope with them

This is the psychological work of warriors, quite frankly, and many folks just do not have the inner muscles or resolve, or outside resources to flex that deeply.

However, if we could all agree that it is in the best interest of ourselves, and our communities, to get into some serious intimacy shape, we could begin to deal with the reality and the sorrow of relationships that are fizzling out, and do so with dignity, maturity, and kindness. We could support one another to take regular inventory of the health of our love relationships and not go into cruise control or denial about intimacy erosion.

Once we start hearing the whisper of the death rattle through long periods of emotional disconnection, avoidance of sex, constant bickering or fighting, increasing times apart, and a vapid joylessness, we can roll up our sleeves and wrestle these emotional demons. If all efforts fail to revive the romance and quality of connection, then everyone can feel more empowered to move forward.

Below, 20 ways to leave your lover with love and respect. If these statistics were to take into account the number of nonmarital long-term relationships that end, then the statistics would be much higher. Most of us experience a relationship breakup at some point in our lives. For some of us, the experience may be most profound when we lose our first love.

For some, the loss of a first love is also the first time the physical and psychological symptoms of grief and loss are experienced. A romantic relationship that has spanned a considerable time decades in some cases also provokes intense feelings of losseven when people knew their relationship was problematic. They may have found their relationship dissatisfying and view their former partner as insensitive, selfish, argumentative — even unloving - and still mourn the loss of it.

A Better Way to Break-Up: 20 Ways to Leave Your Lover

The science of romance — can we predict a breakup? Why do we experience feelings of loss after breakup?

not discussing the end of a relationship

During the adult years, our romantic partners hold a special significance — a significance that was once held by our parents or parent-like figures. Our romantic partners become the primary people we turn to for love, comfort, and security. Above anyone else, we turn to our partners for care and support in times of threat and distress. We also turn to them for validation and to share in our success during times of joy and achievement.

Or a million other things happen that prevent the relationship from ending the way both parties would prefer. There's no right or wrong way to feel about a relationship ending.

Each person varies according to their personality, their history, and their preferences. However, there can be better and worse ways to go about ending a relationship.

not discussing the end of a relationship

Ghosting leaves people on both sides with unfinished business. Avoiding these uncomfortable conversations can do the same. And both of those result in people experiencing lingering thoughts and feelings for years to come.

These feelings can take the form of anger or frustration at the person for leaving.

not discussing the end of a relationship

They can be sadness, regret, or guilt from your inability to share your thoughts and feelings with them. And they can also involve feeling a sense of relief--being thankful that the relationship is over. That's why termination, or the ending of relationships in whatever form they take, can feel a lot like death. No matter how different they appear, sometimes the emotional impact is similar. While it may be uncomfortable to think about the loss of relationship as a death, bringing that seriousness and intentionality to such endings can result in greater fulfillment for both people.

not discussing the end of a relationship

It gives you a chance to say things you typically wouldn't and opens you to feedback you might not otherwise receive. So instead of pulling away from the emotional discomfort, face it. Move towards these conversations by having them early and often. Accept with open arms all of the feelings that get expressed.

And say what you need to say.