In this excerpt from Karan Johar in Conversation with Sadhguru, the two discuss the relationship between father and son, which often becomes. These ideas will help develop a strong father-son relationship. He played a lot of sports and enjoyed time with his friends (what little he had. I recall one man, talking about the problems of his son, saying, the relationships between fathers and sons to find connections between.
Sean's parents were divorced and his father, a recovering alcoholic, was changing his lifestyle and becoming a different person. That wasn't easy for Sean.Relationship between Father and Son Fathers Days Special
I had a lot of resentment because of my dad's trouble with alcohol when I was young, but when he changed his life and became sober, I wasn't ready for that either. We didn't really spend any quality time together.
Our relationship was pretty much going down the tubes. I stopped going to his house and I think I now know he didn't treat me as bad as I did him. They laid the cards out on the table, and Sean and his father realized, that they both wanted the same things from their relationship.
He apologized for the mistakes he'd made in the past, as did I, and we built a relationship based on trust. Today we're open and honest with each other and issues don't get swept under the rug.
Your son may have irrational beliefs that he will try to bring into a conflict. What makes them interpret what you say in the way that they do? What is the real problem? Is it really the messy bedroom? Or is it something more, something else that happened? In cases of neglect, physical or emotional abuse, could a father acknowledge his wrong doing without excusing his behavior?
At that point there would seem to be no hope for repair. Their attempts for reconciliation may or may not reach their father, but the real psychological work entails making a concerted effort to sort out this jumbled knot of confused, disturbing experiences and memories within themselves. Personally, I have twice attempted to untie this knotfirst with my father and much later with my own son. These were largely unpleasant memories of abuse at the hands of my father, which he called discipline.
I wanted to try to deal with this upsurge of memories and intense resentment that was coming from deep within me.
The Connection Between Father and Son | HealthyPlace
This created a stalemate between us, and every time I saw him I was tense and would entertain vengeful fantasies. As part of my own therapy, I was able to vent intense feelings of righteous anger, victimization, and outrage.
This ongoing venting of rage and hurt eventually opened up a totally unexpected memory. I came to realize that there had been a time when I was really young where I actually had wanted something from my father. It was a shock to have this memory. I also came to realize that this did not change anything with him, but it meant a lot to me to uncover this wanting feeling for him.
Unfortunately, nothing in the realm of relationship was possible with my father.
So I had to let go and feel the pain of that old rejection and my anger, and then I was able to disengage and move on. When I had a son of my own, I was tested as a father myself.
The Psychology Behind Strained Father Son Relationships
The first early years with my son started off really well, but as he developed and became more autonomous and defiant, sadly, I was unable to manage my reactivity to his testing of boundaries, etc. Here it was happening to me, not as extreme, but still a strained relationship, and this broke my heart that I was still so psychologically immature. I ended up on quite a roller coaster of a ride as a father. My son is now a grown man and we are currently sorting out our relationship.
Now I am the father open to dealing with the issues with my own son.