How to deal with money issues in a relationship - effectively
As time goes on, it's easy for money issues to take precedent in the relationship, and cause rifts along the way. But when are money problems. Previous studies have shown that financial concerns are among the most common sources of But money doesn't have to be a wedge in your relationship . The relationship between money and happiness is truly interesting. Up to a Money and Happiness: Can Your Income Solve Your Problems?.
If not, why not?
Quiz: Is money causing problems in your relationship?
Did I feel that I was treated fairly? If not, what was happening? Who got more than I did and why? Did I often feel jealous? These are tough questions to ask and think about, I know. Because these issues are very likely to contribute to how you feel about your and your partner's attitudes to money. Now imagine the impact of the above on any the following scenarios: You're feeling insecure because you're not or are no longer financially independent You're feeling insecure because of a major crisis in your relationship, e.
So, with the answers to the above questions and an increase in your awareness, you're ready for the next step. Set the scene for a fruitful conversation Have you already tried to talk to your partner about your money problems? And if so, have the conversations turned into arguments, leaving you feeling angry and frustrated? Or, have you avoided bringing up the subject altogether?
Do you change the topic if your partner mentions it? Or are you simply burying your head in the sand, hoping that somehow your finances will magically fix themselves? As with all problems, communication is key!
Quiz: Is money causing problems in your relationship? | Relate
You do need to be able to communicate openly and honestly about your joint and individual financial wants and needs. You can learn and become better at it over time. You don't need to resolve all of your problems in one conversation alone. Before you continue here, I recommend reading my article on how to argue linkto give yourself the best chance of having a more constructive conversation.
How to approach your partner Write down precisely what the problem is from your point of view. State it clearly as a fact in no more than a few sentences.
Next, write down what you feel about the situation but no pointing the finger here. Own your role in the arguments!
For now, onto the next step As the old saying goes: Be brave, determined and energetic - and sort it yourself if your partner isn't ready to cooperate. And, importantly, you're likely to feel a great deal better for taking some simple but really positive action. How to effectively deal with money issues in your relationship Now for a little more help with brushing up your communication skills for when you're trying to deal with money issues in your relationship.
Do you like to pay everything on time, and save whenever you can? Or are you a risk taker, who prefers to live just for today?
Relationships & money
You both need to know exactly which aspects of your finances are troubling you and why. Neither of you is a mind reader, and you can only begin to fix the problems when you know exactly what they are. Get the facts right As mentioned before, if your financial paperwork is in a mess, that needs sorting first. Guess work, melodrama or lies will only fuel arguments. You can only negotiate and make adjustments when the facts are on the table.
Avoid at all costs: Even if you're on a survival-only budget right now, it may help you both to think about your long-term plans and the potential risks you might encounter. Negotiate Before having a conversation with your partner, you need to think about what you consider to be the best solution. Bear in mind that this needs to be one that leaves room for negotiation.
Life has a way of creating money problems and issues Change is just part of life. And a shift in your circumstances can have a huge impact on your financial stability. Here are some examples of the kinds of changes you may well face during the lifetime of your relationship or marriage. Any of these will have an impact on your household budget Other changes might happen suddenly and totally unexpectedly.
You will get through the crisis together, providing you communicate effectively. What to do if your partner remains uncooperative Perhaps you've followed my steps to get your partner or spouse on board in dealing with the money problems. But he or she still doesn't want to cooperate? In that case, here's what you can do next When I buy a treat for myself I Tell my partner, but lie about how much it really cost c. Tell my partner eventually, but expect them to react badly d.
Talk it through with my partner as we are open and honest with each other about money Q2. When my partner buys a treat for themselves, I. Take it back to the shops and refuse to talk to them for a week b. Get angry, start a row and accuse them of being selfish c.
- Make informed decisions with the FT.
When our account goes overdrawn or we miss a loan or credit card payment I immediately Blame my partner for being hopeless with money b. Expect my partner to blame me, because that's what always happens c. Feel anxious because we don't seem to have our spending under control d.
Understand that my partner and I are both responsible, and that we need to sit down and agree a workable financial plan Q4. When planning for holidays I tend to Book the most expensive package I can find, after all we all deserve a decent break b. Get annoyed if my partner wants to spend more or less than me on a family break c.
Feel upset that we all deserve a decent holiday, but understand that we can't do that yet d. Agree to compromise by choosing a holiday where everyone gets something positive out of it without blowing the budget Q5.
If there's spare money left at the end of a month I immediately want to