Relationship between paul and miriam

relationship between paul and miriam

Category: Lawrence Sons and Lovers Essays; Title: Paul's Relationship with Clara The relationship between him and Miriam did not work out once again, and. Critically analyze Paul's relationship with women, pointing out why one or the poor family and the failing relationship between Mr. Morel and her. Paul admits to his mother that he does not want to marry Miriam and later. While in D. H. Lawrence's novel Sons and Lovers the struggling relationship revolves around Paul Morel and his mother Mrs. Morel, in Women.

Lovers should keep the intact of their beings respectively. Whoever wants to possess the whole world of others is totally wrong. We should leave each other enough personal room. Or else love would be smothered. Frieda Lawrence said, There was the ordinary man-and-woman fight between us, to keep balance, not to trespass, not to topple over. He felt that each should keep intact his own integrity and isolation, yet at the same time preserve a mutual bond like the north and south poles which between them enclose the world.

Morel puts all her time, energy and hope on Paul. Therefore Paul grows up under great influence and strong control from Mrs. With the physical and mental growth, Paul begins to meet other women and has a love relationship with them. His first lover Miriam is a beautiful, shy, and sensitive girl who lives in the near farm named Willey Farm. The Influence of Family Background and Religious Belief on Miriam Willey Farm is a place with more sense of Victorian atmosphere than that of the place where the Morel family is living.

The case of baking potato can best show the status of Miriam in her family. Miriam feels ashamed but her mother says nothing, and is on tenterhooks, like a saint having strayed into the meal of savage.

Actually, it is trivial that Miriam burnt the potato. Miriam is living in a country farm where men have dominant position and surrounded by her father and brothers who always look down on her. But she resigns to mediocrity and does not want to repeat the fate of the general country females. All day long what she wants is how to make life more meaningful.

All these cause her to become a sensitive and romantic girl who is of deep thinking nature and has her own special emotion. People around her often think she is a fool and poor.

They think she is a fool just because she is living in her dream and she is poor because there is no such kind of place for her to live. What she can have is only imagination.

On the whole, Miriam scorns the male sex. But soon the love between Paul and Miriam adds bitterness to her life because of her religious zeal.

Miriam is a religious believer from her childhood and religion plays a major role in her life. She believes that God is almighty and knows everything and even her love towards Paul should be permitted by God. After she gets used to seeing everything in the way of religion, she refuses sensitive life, and is afraid of any thought relating to sex, including marriage and having a baby. Of course the society in the Victorian period has the responsibility for her fear of sex.

According to the standard of morality, sex is dirty and talking about sex in public is forbidden. The social morality even strives to glorify the holy concept of chastity, emphasizes the importance of virginity and requires people to control sexual impulse by intellect. In Sons and Lovers, there is a sense of swing between Paul and Miriam: She felt the accuracy with which he caught her, exactly at the right moment, and the exactly proportionate strength of his thrust, and she was afraid.

Down to her bowels went the hot wave of fear. She was in his hands. Again, firm and inevitable came the thrust at the right moment. She gripped the rope, almost swooning. There was something fascinating to her in him. For the moment he was nothing but a piece of swinging stuff; not a particle of him that did not swing.

She could never lose herself so, nor could her 9 brothers. It roused a warmth in her. It was almost as if he were a flame that had lit a warmth in her whilst he swung in the middle air. We can also find that Miriam consciously puts his intimate relationship on the imagination, that is, on the spiritual love, rather than on sexual love.

On the whole, Miriam scorned the male sex. Catherine girl, with thought of Verona, tries to regard Paul as her private idol. Although shy, Miriam is the spiritual mate of Paul. He can talk about Michelangelo with Miriam, reading poetry with her and reading French with her.

relationship between paul and miriam

After finishing a sketch, he always wants to take it to Miriam. Then he is stimulated into knowledge of the work he has produced unconsciously. Morel cares more about is the achievement of art. Yet what Miriam cares about is something deep inside, and Miriam shows great enthusiasm on the painting.

Therefore Paul and Miriam can be spiritual mates. From Miriam, Paul gains consolation and inspiration of intuitive creativity. From his mother he drew the life-warmth, the strength to produce; Miriam urged this warmth into intensity like a white light.

relationship between paul and miriam

Miriam once leaves the breathless home because of the doubting of the role of females. She enjoys the same right of male. It surprises Paul because in his family, his little sister Annie feels happy that she is a girl. This dialogue can be connected to another sense in Sons and Lovers. The symbolic meaning of climbing the fence is clear.

Sometimes he does take it into consideration, but he does it on his own position. In the beginning, Paul appears as a tutor in front of Miriam, contacting to her through painting and teaching French.

relationship between paul and miriam

And Paul establishes his own authority very soon. This view can be summarized from the sentences taken from Sons and Lovers: They worked, he talking, she with her head down on the book.

He was quick and hasty. He had been too fast. But she said nothing. He questioned her more, and got hot. It made his blood rouse to see her there, as it were, at his mercy, her mouth open, her eyes dilated with laughter that was afraid, apologetic, ashamed. In Lawrence's terms, the two words mean stimulation and erection of sex. This shame makes her ruddy and beautiful. That is what Paul wants. What Miriam can do is just to keep silence. Also we can find the other side of Paul, such as his merciless and maltreating.

He watched with wicked satisfaction the drops of wax melt off the broken orehead of Arabella, and drop like sweat into the flame.

So long as the stupid big doll burned he rejoiced in silence. At the end be poked among the embers with a stick, fished out the arms and legs, all blackened, and smashed them under stones.

Paul is influenced not only by male chauvinism, but also by religious belief in Victoria age. Before Paul grows up, most of his time is spent with his mother. Once his big brother called him Postle, and a friend of their family calls him Postle Morel for fun. Because the influence of religious belief, deep inside, Paul is a very selfish man, and he never has shown real caring towards other people except his mother.

Miriam realizes that pure spiritual Platonic love would lead to the break of their relationship. And she is ready to sacrifice her traditional ethics. Unfortunately, facing the new passionate Miriam, Paul appears to be inadequate and doubtful. It had thrown its briers over a hawthorn-bush, and its long streamers trailed thick, right down to the grass, splashing the darkness everywhere with great spilt stars, pure white.

Pale Miriam, with dark eyes, wants this kind of communication. The wild-rose bush also symbolizes the world of female. In fact it is both in mental and in physical: She was pale and expectant with wonder, her lips were parted, and her dark eyes lay open to him. This action naturally makes Paul feel that she is touching him. Paul does so for two reasons. On one hand, the religious belief in Victoria age restricts him; on the other hand, he has strong sense of male chauvinism. Male chauvinism makes him a very selfish man.

He has never shown real caring towards any woman except his mother. When she feels upset, not only does he feel the same as she does, but also he cannot take upset things of his mother easy. His soul always focuses on her. Every time he stays with his mother, his love spews out like a spring and his inspiration shines like the flame.

For almost 20 years, he has been under the control of his mother. He is filled with his hatred and disgusting towards his father and prays of his death from childhood. After growing up, he even fights against his father. To Paul, mother is the most important person. When Miriam is facing tense confrontation with his mother, his deepest love belongs to his mother. Paul is always full of misgivings when facing other women.

When having a close relationship with Miriam, his relationship between him and his parents became more complex. Because his Oedipus complex has made him out of control, he lost the ability to love other women.

Relationship between Paul and Miriam |

Morel, Miriam is cultured, self confidence and independent, and she puts Paul in the position of pendent. Therefore he can not have a normal love with Miriam.

He hated 15 her because he thinks she despises him in some way. When staying with Miriam, he always thinks of his mother. His deepest love belongs to his mother.

The Defect of the Love between Paul and Miriam As time flows, the love between Paul and Miriam deepens, and meanwhile the hidden dangers emerge, causing strife in their daily life. And the final responsibility for split belongs with Miriam. Miriam is a contradiction. She is both passive and possessive, which is latent danger to the immature love. First, she always plays the passive role, ready to sacrifice.

When she takes him to the swing, Miriam makes the swing comfortable for him. And she feels almost for the first time in her life the pleasure of giving up to a man, of spoiling him. Lawrence describes her inner struggle when she senses her love towards Paul.

Suffering the torture of loving him, she struggles between loving and giving up. The uncertainty and her escape show her passivity. When she realizes that she loves him, she thinks that she is to be a sacrifice. She prays to God: But, lord, if it is Thy will that I should love him, make me love himas Christ would, who died for the souls of men. Make me love him splendidly, because he is Thy son. And love is a kind of self-sacrifice to her. She has the passion, yet she hides it and constrains it and nobody can feel it.

She is always a timid pet, standing shrinking afar, waiting for the caressing of her master. However, love demands initiative. Passivity would tire others. She is praying for love as a religious girl. When Paul flirts with Beatrice, he thinks it serves Miriam right. Since she is a timid and shy lover who is used to waiting for being loved, she can only express her love in an indirect way.

She writes a letter in French as her homework, in which she confides her love. Lawrence describes her first sexuality with Paul as a sacrificial rite. As he went forward to her, her hands lifted in a little pleading moment…her big brown eyes were watching him, still resigned and loving; she lay as if she had given herself up to sacrifice: His enjoyment is her torture, which gives a sense of failure to Paul.

He is depressed becasue he is not needed.

The Doors of Perception: 'Sons and Lovers': Paul's relationships.

He seems to be forcing her to contribute her body and she is 18 not enjoying the sex but playing the role of a pitiful prey. During the ending period, Lawrence makes Miriam the judge who pronounces the death of her love with Paul. Leave it to me. Instead, she asks him if he wants it.

Thus she totally disappoints him and dampens his previous passion; and by that she exhausts the last patience and hope of him. As a timid lover, Miriam is not courageous enough to pursue her love. Unconsciously, she has the maternal instinct; she wants to treat him as his mother does, and repulses him. Loving his mother, Paul also feels her love binding.

He wants to escape from its shackles. Miriam was not wholly to blamePaul was aware of itbut she was partly to blame because her love was only a reflection of the mother whish he was struggling.

He went to Miriam to be liberated, but Miriam was incapable of liberating him. The alternating love and hatred which he bore towards his mother he transferred to Miriam. Miriam does not know that. Then she would be stronger than he. Then she could love him. If she could be mistress of him in his weakness, take care of him, if he could depend on her, if she could, as it were, have him in her arms, how she would love him! Miriam always fondles the flower because she lovers it.

Paul cannot accept her attitude towards the things she loves because it reminds him of his mother; and he feels that he is exactly the thing she is fondling, which is so unbearable to him.

To her, flowers appealed with such strength she felt she must make them part of herself. When she bent and breathed a flower, it was as if she and the flower were loving each other. Paul hated her for it. There seemed a sort of exposure about the action, something too intimate. Everything in her life is tinged with religionthe flower, the leaves and even a bird nesteverything is pure.

She lives and thinks in a religious way. He painfully watches how his mother suffers when Mr. Morel does not come back home from work. As a young boy, his greatest joy is to please his mother. When he reaches for blackberries in chapter 4, he would rather die than disappoint her.

Morel accepted from Paul a spray of wildflowers in the tone of a woman accepting a love token. As her sons go out into the world, Gertrude Morel sees them as a reflection of herself.

She wants for her children those things in life that she felt she had been denied. After Williams death, she shifts herself off from daily life and continues to brood for a long time.

The over-possessive mother exercises an unhealthy influence on the emotional development of the growing boy. But he fails to give Miriam all his love because half of his soul he has already given to his mother. Therefore, she does her best to break their relationship. Se, with all the passion of her strong heart, begins to hate Miriam.

Paul is aware of his need for both of them but can give himself wholly to neither of them. The result is intense heart-breaking suffering. This conflict in the latter part of the novel is replaced by the conflict between Miriam and Clara. Paul is incapable of developing any satisfactory relationship with any woman because of his mother. The Oedipus-Complex in him destroys him emotionally.

relationship between paul and miriam

Morel is wrong in being too possessive. Morel and Miriam want to possess the soul of Paul. Morel failed to realize this truth and so ruined the life of Paul. The tragedy occurs from the damaging influence of a mother on her son. The illness of Mrs. Morel brings out the true parental love in Paul.