What’s Good about Generation Y?
Based on ethnographic investigations and mathematical models, older sexual Inter-generational sex associated with STIs, multiple and concurrent . and economic asymmetries – the typical definition of a “sugar daddy” relationship – are. Being in the academy:a cross generational conversation. relationship between a mother and daughter in order to reflect more widely on .. mathematics) ( HEFCE, ). writings on the third-wave and post-feminism for women to define. Perceptions of Those Engaged in Cross-Generational Relationships . .. 13 Some examples provided were a partner's ability to take care.
Sugar Daddies and Girls' Schooling in Zambia Following the fieldwork period, the data were coded for significant themes and then organized according to those responses that were represen- tative. The information on cross-generational relationships presented below comes from the interviews, observations, and written materials collected during the research period primarily from the sibling cohort group, as well as from general interviews with other pupils, parents, secondary school graduates, and teachers.
The methods utilized sought to address the following question: The respondents frequently referenced social attitudes and stigma around such relationships; thus, data are presented to offer a picture of the social landscape in which young women pursue or acquiesce to the advances of older men, due, in part, to their material conditions and educational aspirations.
Simpson discusses how Zambian men learn about sex and the exercise of power through aggression and sometimes violence.
Through practicing and learning about their gendered roles with regard to sex, "the expression of male sexual identity was often figured as an inherently violent activity in which, in competition with other men, the conquest of women was the central element. Male 'superiority' had to be demonstrated" p. Simpson further notes that expressions of virility are also linked to multiple sexual partners as well as power over them, elements that often characterize cross-generational relationships.
Although it is important to note that the social constructions of masculinity can contribute to the prevalence of cross- generational relationships, neither all men nor all women accept these roles MONISHA BAJAJ unquestioningly. Even when women assume subservient positions, such as those induced by cross-generational relationships, a notable shift occurs from victim to agent in analyzing their actions and decisions.
In his work on cross-generational relationships in South Africa, Hunter offers a distinction between young women engaging in transactional sex for subsistence and those engaging in it for consumption.
The use of income generated from cross-generational relationships for increased educational opportunity does not neatly fit into either category but perhaps lies some- where along the spectrum between subsistence and consumption. Whatever the use of the income generated, the line between consent and coercion is often blurred by the "gendered material inequalities that provide a basis for such [cross-generational] transactions" Hunter,p.
Given the complexity and diversity of cross-generational relationships, particularly with regard to consent, power, and motivation, it is useful to conceptualize what Weissman et al. In analyzing the various factors that structure cross-generational relationships, the authors offer a useful framework for understanding the knotty problems of consent and coercion Fig.
It is important to note that not all cases fit in this schema. This Diagram has been Re-printed with the Permission of the Authors. Sugar Daddies and Girls' Schooling in Zambia being raped because of the perceived curative powers of such sex.
Here, of course, the issue of volition is irrelevant and this chapter does not address such practices Leclerc-Madlala, In Weissman et al.
Communications between generations : guiadeayuntamientos.info
With these complex constructions of gender in mind, I now examine the ways in which secondary school students encounter evidence of cross-generational relationships in their schools and communities.
For young women, having a "sugar daddy," or an older man with economic resources, can help offset the financial costs of secondary schooling. Mayombo, a teacher at Umutende government secondary school in Ndola, discussed a student in his eleventh grade English class and her "sponsor" or sugar daddy: I have noticed quite a few of them; some of them are being paid for by these taxi drivers and minibus drivers.
Some of them are more or less like full-time wives; when she is at school, she's a schoolgirl. When she goes home, she doesn't go to her parents' home, she's in the man's house. But yet, that's not a formal marriage.
One girl is 18 years of age, she's in grade I have seen three of them [in my class]. I found out that their parents couldn't afford their education, but the girls are really brilliant.
In the end, they are being promised to be married to those sugar daddies. There is something very unfair in the state of affairs. These girls will be made to get married to persons who they do not want to marry simply because they have an obligation to fulfill. The man that I know who is with Eunice is 45 years of age and she's Parents know, [but] they have no money to pay for school. He's a minibus driver and has two wives, legally. In Zambia, polygamy is legal.
This man has volunteered to pay her fees up to whichever level the girl will go to, as long as she is obliged to bend towards the man's requirements. She lives with the parents, [but] she has an obligation; she can be taken at MONISHA BAJAJ anytime by the man and she is the most favored amongst the three women because she's the youngest, and to him, she's sweet.
Mayombo highlights the need for school fees as a factor that contributes to female secondary school students having relationships with older men. The desire for education and the lack of financial resources for it were among the motives offered by many adults and schoolgirls for why young women engage in cross-generational sexual relationships. Young women's motivations for cross-generational relationships were cited as primarily economic, but older men's motives varied.
As mentioned earlier in this chapter, cross-generational relationships have existed in Zambia historically, particularly given the polygamous traditions of many ethnic groups where significant age differences between co-wives and their husband is common Gausset, Lombanya, noted the motivations for older men to engage in sexual relationships with schoolgirls, citing a colleague of her husband discussing his relationships with younger women: There was a time my husband was talking about someone and said, "That guy, I wonder why he likes going out with schoolgirls?
They haven't met any man. So meeting her, I'm assured that she's not sick. And then this girl will go for another man. You know they can't go for their fellow boys; the boys have nothing to offer them. What they want probably is what they can't get from home. Aside from the preference for "fresh" girls, the age differential also corresponds with the power dynamics of learned masculinities as noted by Simpson Instructively, it is important to note the increasing presence of cross-generational relationships between older women and younger men in Zambia, driven perhaps less by conventionally gendered roles than by more immediate social and economic realities.
Sugar Mommies The incidence of transactional sexual relationships between older women and younger men offers an interesting counterpoint to the sugar daddy Sugar Daddies and Girls' Schooling in Zambia phenomenon as rooted in discourses of masculinity. Participants' accounts suggested that the phenomenon of sugar mommies was less prevalent, but nevertheless present with the reported motivations being sex and compa- nionship. An Ndola social worker, Lucy, commented: We are seeing sugar-mommies going for small boys; those [ladies] who have money.
Some are left with a lot of money so they can do whatever they want to lure the young boys so that they sleep with them. In turn, it's the sugar mommy giving the small boy money. Especially the school-going and those young men who are in employment, who aren't married and they want some extra money.
Some are not in employment; they just want someone to look after them. Although these older women may be reacting to the loss of their spouses when seeking out a young sexual partner, they, too, are placing young men at risk for contracting the virus when a woman's partner has already passed away from AIDS. Although the phenomenon of sugar mommies merits mention, most cross-generational relationships continue to involve younger women and older men, and accordingly this chapter focuses primarily on this type of relationship.
Cross-Generational Relationships in School and Society Examining the way a cross-generational relationship begins highlights further the social inequality between older men with resources and female students without them.
Respondents described the types of signals and interactions that lead young women to understand that a sexual arrangement is being negotiated. In a cultural context where elders who are not related are often addressed as "mama," "aunty," "uncle," or "bashikulu" grandfatherit is important to note the differences between a non-sexual and sexual relation- ship between an adult and an adolescent, and how these relationships may change over time.
The origins of such cross-generational relationships were discussed in detail in some student diaries. For example, Agripa, who had previously studied at a government high school in the Copperbelt town of Mufulira, discussed under a topic, which he titled "sexual abuse in school," the ways that teachers and students initiated sexual relationships in school: On this page, I'm gonna holla about teenage pregnancies in schools and about how teachers manipulate the girls into having sex with them.
No teacher has ever been dismissed from work for flirting with a pupil, more still for making her pregnant. The girl pupils are enticed with special favors like special treatment, immunity from beatings, leakages [of answer papers] during exams, promises of money or high life, etc, in exchange for a lust filled relationship because it certainly isn't love.
Agripa's response indicates disdain for such relationships between his female classmates and teachers. Many other respondents, both students and teachers, noted the prevalence of cross-generational relationships within secondary schools. When asked why these relationships took place, respon- ses ranged from mere attraction and human nature to coercion and incentives offered by teachers to young women willing to become sexually involved with them.
Students discussed how relationships with their teachers changed over time and how these changes were often noted by their peers.
Cross-Generational Relationships Lead to Power Imbalance
One student, Precious, noted how what seemed like a normal student-teacher relationship changed: My teacher sent me to his office to collect some textbooks and I did so. When I reached the office, I found that the door was locked so as I turned I saw him staring at me as if he had seen an angel or a ghost.
He knew what the problem was and he opened the door for me. I hesitated to enter, but he told me that I was wasting his time. So I entered and he tried to grab my breasts and he held my hand saying that he loved me so much, but I managed to run away from the office. Although students reported being unsure about the nature of female students' relationships with their male teachers, many reported the practice of teachers' explicit solicitation of sex from girls, offering incentives, such as good grades and extra lessons, in exchange.
A male student in the tenth grade noted the way that sexual resources could be exchanged for favoritism in class: The teacher is teaching and he's just looking at the same particular girl. Then when the subject is over, they go and talk.
Sometimes maybe the whole class is being beaten by the teacher, but not the girl. There was a day [when] my friend came to tell me that this is what happened in their class.
They were all writing an exam. They were given the scripts to start writing. Then, the teacher started writing something very fast. When he finished, he went to a girl's desk, he took away the paper the girl was writing, and he gave her the paper he was writing. And the girl passed. In this student's account, the advantages of engaging in a relationship with a teacher were noted, but some of the adverse consequences of such relationships were more clearly seen by young women who chose not to engage in them.
Sugar Daddies and Girls' Schooling in Zambia Some students were skeptical about the benefits of cross-generational relationships and highlighted instead the risks. A twelfth grade student at Chilemba government high school, related the following process by which teachers and pupils become involved and the risk of acquiring AIDS when this happens: When I was in grade ten, they found this biology teacher - he even died last year - he was caught with a grade eight girl in his office having sex.
Consequently, the adverse future impacts of such relationships - ranging from social isolation and abandonment to HIV infection and death - are sometimes outweighed by the immediate benefits, whether real or perceived. Student accounts describe how teachers encourage young women to get into sexual relationships through promises of passing exams, and they offer examples of how such relationships begin and end to the detriment of the student.
Young girls who enter into relationships with teachers are often economically disadvantaged and seek to rectify their limited access to money to obtain favors and privileges by securing these things through sex. These relationships, and the corresponding outcomes for young girls, such as unwanted pregnancy, contraction of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases, or dropping out of school, serve as evidence of social inequality between the wealthy and the poor, as well as between older men and younger women that is perpetuated in government secondary schools Bajaj, Student accounts also cited how cross-generational relationships begin both inside schools and beyond the school gates.
Outside of school, interactions between young women and older men in public places or "on the way" to them facilitated, in many cases, the establishment of a cross-generational relationship.
Mary, a twelfth grader at Chilemba High School, discussed the signals indicating a sexual relationship is beginning: You can be sent somewhere and you meet him on the way, "I'll give you a lift, jump in the car.
You, without knowing, [think] it's just a lift. He asks, "Where do you stay? He drops you where you are going. He gives you money for a drink. The next day, or he even gives you two days, he'll come back.
Cross-Generational Romances in Real Life – Hopewell's Public Library of Life
And you don't resist because you think, "this one is giving me money and if I do this, if I sleep with him, he will start giving me more money than he does now. When you get addicted to money, it's very difficult to stay without money.
- How to define cross generational sex?
- Tag: Cross-Generational Romances in Real Life
So if that person is gone, you go for another old man because you know that old people are the ones who give money to young people. It's common wherever you go to find a young girl and an old person. Sometimes you can even say the man [is] the father or the uncle, but that person is not.
He even comes to pick [her] up at school. You think maybe that's the father, but someone says, "No, that's the boyfriend"; the so-called "man-friend.
Operating in educational and social contexts characterized by economic inequality, students learn the benefits of responding positively when approached by older men offering them money. They may become "addicted to money," as Mary noted, because the funds allow them to pay for school expenses and other things they need or desire, such as clothes, shoes, mobile phones, and food.
Young girls living in the townships of Ndola reported being approached by older men and sometimes accepting their requests for sex because of the material benefits that such relationships provided. For example, year-old Victoria mentioned that older men had already started offering her food or money in exchange for sex.
Victoria noted that female orphans may accept the sexual advances of or seek out older men given their often-precarious economic situations. For example, Catherine, a tenth grade student at Umutende government school, noted, "Sometimes instead of being in class, [girls] go out and start looking for sugar daddies who can give them money to buy whatever they want to buy.
They go during school time. They go to different buildings like bars and guesthouses [where] the men are. Yet the fact that young girls encounter this situation early in adolescence, coupled with strong social taboos around parents talking with their children about sex, often results in girls experimenting with relation- ships where they may lack the power to negotiate safe sex.
Economic hardship and being orphaned, in particular, may also drive girls to accede to the propositions of an older and more affluent partner. This man will do anything to this girl because she wants some money to sustain herself; maybe to pay for school. So the sugar daddies have taken advantage of the poverty situation. For those who lack money and engage instead in cross- generational relationships, they are the ones frequently blamed by peers and elders for violating "tradition.
A seventh grader noted in her diary the parental involvement in decisions about cross-generational relationships writing that MONISHA BAJAJ "Some parents are telling their children to go out and sell their bodies in order to get some money. However, this does not mean that there are no social consequences for youth who engage in cross-generational relationships. Parents, teachers, students, and community members acknowledged the occurrence of cross- generational relationships particularly in regard to the economic hardship that often fuels them; however, at the same time, they often expressed extremely negative attitudes toward those who engage in such relationships.
One seventh grade student, a year-old named Annie, reported: My own aunty, my mom's younger sister has got a child. I think the dad of the child rejected her. All she wants is that men come, pick her up, and pay her to go places like very big hotels, guesthouses, cinema halls, bars, and clubs. We don't stay with her because my mom told her that she couldn't allow any of the things she was doing in our house. So she had to move away and find her own house.
Maybe a man comes, and if [he] just has money, she'll accept. One of the things about prostitution is that the girls are lacking education. In Annie's account, cross-generational relationships and prostitution are synonymous.
On discovering that a relative is HIV positive, families may be embarrassed by the stigma that the disease holds and the implications for the family's social standing. One eleventh grade student wrote in her diary about her best friend finding out that he and his girlfriend were HIV positive: On one hand, they are widely disenchanted with electoral politics. Yet many of their values and beliefs are blatantly political.
In Canada, for example, surveys show that Millennials are pretty adamant about paying taxes. A survey even suggested that young Americans are more likely to align themselves with socialism than with capitalism. This was certainly clear when President Obama was elected inbut not just because he was elected.
Something else stood out. Cross-generational solidarity in Occupy Detroit, But I want to make the additional point that these are more than the views of the young. There is more at play here than just age.
Indeed, these views and values—and disaffection with work—are not limited to the youngest members of our societies.
They do not appear and disappear at the boundaries of a single generation. This is why, in my research, I found disaffected people of all ages.