Essence black men love relationship issue

Five Mistakes Women Make That Keep Them Single Longer | HuffPost

essence black men love relationship issue

Jill Scott has stirred up a debate between Essence readers after She goes on to point out that black men were "lynched, beaten, jailed or There are other issues that are more important to talk about than this one, we fell in love and it has turned out to be the best loving relationship I have ever been in. Essence Magazine thought by gracing the cover of their February , “Black Men Love & Relationships” issue, featuring the New Orleans. Essence is one of the flagship magazines that caters to black women. for white women-covers its “Black Men, Love & Relationships Issue,”.

I could not help but wonder if I was falling into the trap of being hypersensitive, and hyperaware about all things race. I concluded that it could only be a coincidence. It all began with the first black blogger in whom I noticed the phenomenon sweeping the nation. The first blogger is a beautiful woman who owns a head wrap line I have purchased three.

No need to discuss the shipping costs from America to the UK. She is a creative who graces Instagram with each artistic post. It was in one fateful post in which I saw her with her white bae.

essence black men love relationship issue

He is rugged and bearded. Not enough hand clap emojis to comment.

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And then there was another. Literally another beautiful head wrap line owner, whose artistry is magnificent.

essence black men love relationship issue

But first, let me head wrap. This queen also has a white bae. I was left questioning why all my favourite black bloggers are dating white men? I have compiled a list of reasons why I think my favourite bloggers, a. Appreciation Are woke white men more appreciative of black women than black men? A common debate that has been going around has been regarding whether black men are just interested in one type of black woman: Could it be that woke white men are more inclined to appreciate darker-skinned women than black men?

With the onslaught of societal pressure to conform to only one version of beauty perhaps black men, with their own pressure, are averse to women who represent beauty that is continually discredited. You don't spend your first day of school planning the graduation party or senior prom. There are lessons learned along the way.

Why are all my favourite bloggers dating white men?

If you enter first grade with only graduation on your mind you're going to miss all the snacks, naps, education, plays, summer breaks, getting your first locker in middle school, your first crush, your second crush and your third.

You are going to miss getting sent to the principal's office, pranks, practical jokes, cheerleader and volleyball tryouts, winning the spelling bee and getting all A's on your report card. There's a lot of learning that occurs between first grade and graduation and there's a lot of living, loving and learning between the first date and the wedding date. Let the relationship naturally mature. Think of it as an adventure and if it doesn't lead to a wedding day, you will have had fun along the way and hopefully some great stories to share.

Seeing what you want to see instead of what's there. Chris Rock says that in the beginning of a relationship "you never meet the true person you meet their representative.

essence black men love relationship issue

To keep from being hurt over and over again, you must be willing recognize and embrace the facts as they are and not interject your own romantic notations and fairy tales into the situation. To begin the process, ask yourself, "What is the truth about the person and the potential relationship? The sad truth is they consciously or unconsciously chose to overlook the obvious. They chose to look over bad boy ways, affairs, drinking problems, drug problems, gambling problems, domestic violence, irresponsible parenting, disappearing acts, obvious lies, uncaring behavior, prison records, love triangles, bi-sexual activities and Deal Breakers of every kind.

When it comes to relationships ignorance is not bliss. To see what is really there you have to ask the right questions, read the signs, do the research, recognize the truth and know when you are being told what you want to hear rather than the truth.

Don't be so enamored with the representative that your common sense takes a vacation and your ability to reason and think critically is lost.

Use all your senses and see what is in front of you regardless of how he may try to camouflage the truth. Look past the representative and discern the true essence of your potential partner. If in doubt make sure your closest friends or family members meets him. They will often see what you cannot see and will tell you those things you need to, but don't want to hear. Allowing yourself to become a docking station, when his battery is low. One of the best parts of a good relationship is great sex.

It is a perfectly normal part of a relationship, but there is a time and appropriateness for sex. Do not allow yourself to be a docking station just because you are lonely and he needs a place to plug in. This points to desperation and will never make a man love you.

Men are not moved by sex. They are moved by what they feel for the woman they are having sex with. If your relationship has not developed to at least a mutual respect and admiration level, let him dock his appliances somewhere else. Before you let a guy charge his battery at your docking station, make sure that you are not just any docking station around the city.

If his battery is low, he won't care whose charger or docking station he uses. Of course, he's not likely to tell you that you are just any docking station, it is up to you to unearth the truth and discover if he has affection for you or if you are merely an avenue to get his appliance charged.

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Think about it, when you need a charge anything goes. I've asked perfect strangers in an airport if they had a charger that would fit my phone or electronic device. And men looking for emotionless non-committal sex will do the same thing in any nightclub, restaurant, sporting event or airport. In desperate times a docking station is only a docking station until you find your personal charger. If you skip the logical progression of steps you can become the community docking station.

Relax, slow down and do your best to only charge the appliances that you are familiar with. Not communicating your feelings Healthy relationships are about effectively communicating, getting on the same page and enjoying and loving each other. The best way to get the relationship you want is to openly and honestly articulate your needs to your partner and to listen to his wants and needs. Most men I know are not mind readers.

And believe it or not, when they ask, "What's wrong? Men think differently, react differently, and process events and situations differently. And when it comes to a woman's logic, emotions and feelings, most men do not have a clue!