Intergenerational Relations Quotes (6 quotes)
Blogger. Journal of Intergenerational Relationships: Programs, Policy, and Research Member, Editorial Board. current. Routledge Taylor & Francis Group. Ask older adults involved in an intergenerational relationship and they are likely Keep in mind Margaret Mead's quote: “Connections between. The "Four Rs" of respect, responsibility, reciprocity, and resiliency that generally characterize intergenerational relationships are discussed and illustrated.
There is a back-and-forth reciprocity between all generations. Adults provide support to elders, most often to address health or physical limitations. Elders, in turn, assist adults through experience, emotional support, and participating in the care of children.
Elders can help socialize children, teach them empathy and character, and give them an unconditional form of love they can't find elsewhere.
Intergenerational Relations Quotes
Children, in turn, can be an endless source of joy for elders, share affection and play, and provide assistance with many simple tasks.
Children can participate in the work of adults, and provide enjoyment and love. Adults, in turn, provide food, shelter, clothing, and nurturance to children. And so a strong, healthy, intergenerational web of community goes.
Many older adults today are better educated, healthier, and more able than elders of past generations. They can clearly be a tremendous resource.
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But what about the oldest, frailest of the old? They can be our greatest teachers. They can certainly instruct us with words and stories of times past, and share a lifetime of accumulated wisdom. But what they truly help us learn about is the world and ourselves as they teach us with their very selves, their being.
Elders can also teach us about the end of life, which informs the whole of our lives. I've seen it in my work with families, my community workshops, and in all the research: They make us feel connected not only to each other, but to something bigger, to the past and to the future, to the flow of life. This connection leads to tangible benefits for all generations.
Benefits to Children Research shows children need four to six involved, caring adults in their lives to fully develop emotionally and socially.
The problem today is that children often get too much peer socialization, too much mediated contact through computers and texting, and not enough one-on-one, personal time with mature adults. The benefits to children of a close, long-term connection with older adults include: Through grandparents, children have a better sense of who they are and where they've come from. They have roots, a history, and a sense of continuity and perspective.
Intergenerational bonds need not be traditional or biological. Older adult mentors can make a significant difference in a child's life. The involvement of a reliable, caring adult helps children develop life skills, and builds self-esteem and confidence. One study showed that when a child is mentored by an adult, they are: In general, children develop higher self-esteem, better emotional and social skills including an ability to withstand peer pressureand can even have better grades in school.
Especially with grandparents, children are "spoiled" a little. Research tells us that, in moderation, this can be a good thing. Children know that being with their grandparents is special. They don't expect the rest of the world to treat them the way their grandparents do, so it's really not "spoiling.
Children can get undivided time and attention from an older adult that tired, busy parents often can't give them. An older adult can give children someone safe to talk with and confide in. While children may want to be different from their parents, they often don't mind being like their grandparents or other older adults. This gives elders a lot of power and ability to influence a troubled or confused child.
Through sharing in an older adult's interests, skills, and hobbies, children are introduced to new activities and ideas. Through their life experience, older adults can often bring with them a tremendous amount of patience. Knowledge, skills, and attitudes children pick up from elders tend to stick with them through life more than those picked up from other sources. By getting to know "real, live old people" children look beyond the ageist stereotypes.
They become more comfortable with aging — which is really something we all do from the moment we're born. Children are also encouraged to look toward the whole of their lives. They have many models for adulthood, but far fewer for older adulthood. When they can see the whole of their lives, they are more motivated and see greater relevance between what they're learning in school and their future. Research shows that "planful competence" — the ability to understand the life course and work toward goals — is key to student success in school and in life.
For example, deference to older persons at family get togethers, expressed by placing them in seats of honor or preparing meals as the elder generation prepared meals are demonstrations of the respect younger generations have for older generations.
Filial responsibility defined as "a sense of personal obligation for the well-being of aging parents" Hamon,p. In other words, adult children and grandchildren have a sense of obligation for their parents and grandparents. It is typical for young adults to express a desire to provide assistance if their parents need it in the future.
Within families in the U. Adult children make extraordinary sacrifices in supporting older relatives because they feel responsible to provide care. Responsibility may be grounded in a feeling of obligation or "pay back" for all the older generation previously did for the younger generation. For some, parenting is rewarded by the receipt of care in the later years, and the responsibility for such care is embedded within the family's values.
For others, the sense of responsibility is based upon feelings of affection for the older persons. Feelings of love are translated into a sense of responsibility to care for an older parent. In a study of caregivers for older parents with dementia, Briggs reported finding that some caregivers feel that the sense of responsibility is basic to their parent-child relationship. Other things may need to be worked out, but this caregiving responsibility becomes the priority" Briggs,p.
Regardless of the motivation obligation, affection, or a combination of bothit is clear that younger generations have a sense of responsibility to provide assistance to older relatives. This responsibility may differ depending on the need. For example, most middle class persons within the U. Visiting, corresponding, telephoning, and e-mailing are a few examples of ways in which younger generations fulfill the responsibility that they feel. In so doing, they provide socioemotional support to their older relatives.
The attention given to older persons informs them that they are important to the younger generation. When an older relative has physical limitations, it is expected that younger relatives will be willing to provide transportation, help with meals and other personal needs, mow the lawn, shovel the snow, and do other tasks that assist the older person with daily living.
Feelings of intergenerational responsibility are translated into action within many families in the U. Reciprocity Throughout most of life, intergenerational relationships are characterized by reciprocity.
While younger generations support older relatives, older relatives are assisting younger persons. In short, intergenerational relationships in the later years are a two-way street. The classic example that many people readily observe is the child care provided by many grandparents and the emotional support adult children and grandchildren give to the grandparents.
Even in intense caregiving situations, reciprocal relationships exist. Parents tell their adult caregivers that they love and appreciate them, and such emotional reinforcement can ease the burden of caregiving. Burton reported that urban African American grandmothers sacrificed to provide care for their grandchildren and they received love and attention from their grandchildren. The reciprocal relationship between the generations is illustrated by the effects one generation has on another.
Intergenerational relationships are characterized by interdependency. Consequently, the relationships between the generations are often reciprocal. Resiliency The resiliency of intergenerational relationships can be illustrated by the ways in which families develop strategies to deal with change within the family.
For example, when divorce and remarriage occur within any generation, the intergenerational relationships are affected. Johnson found that middle class families experienced different kinship patterns after divorce. Paternal grandparents experienced a decline in support. The differing ways of dealing with the changes because of divorce underscore the resiliency of intergenerational relationships. Provision of care for older generations and the times when older generations become primary caregivers for grandchildren demonstrate the resiliency of intergenerational relationships.
Burton and Minkler, Rose and Price provide data on surrogate parenting by older generations. Older persons, who have already parented, step in to parent when the younger generation is unable to do so.
The resiliency of the intergenerational relationships provides a continuous emotional and physical support system to the youngest generation.
Implications for Practice Service provision to intergenerational families requires an awareness of the respect, responsibility, reciprocity, and resiliency which characterize older family relationships. Service providers working with intergenerational families benefit from viewing those families from social systems and continuity paradigms. The social systems perspective acknowledges the frequent changes to which social systems must successfully respond in order to maintain their structure as a system.
Intergenerational families are constantly placed in situations which call for adaptation and adjustment so that they can continue their functioning as a family.
For example, the illness of an older family member may result in the adaptation of caregiving by a younger family member, most likely a daughter. The older family member must also adjust by accepting the help of the daughter.
The daughter may need to make adaptations at her place of employment and in her own family, with her spouse and children, in order to provide the caregiving needed by her mother. As older families experience changes through life transitions and occasional crises, they evidence resilience through their ability to change the balance they have retained throughout their families' lives while retaining their family structure.
It is through intergenerational cooperation and the working together of many parts of the family unit that this occurs. Viewing intergenerational families from a continuity perspective guides the professional to gather information about how an older individual and his or her family have adapted and responded to crises and transitions throughout the life of the family. This knowledge provides the practitioner with information about a particular intergenerational family's past history and can, therefore, assess their present ability to: Families that in the past have responded to life situations with respect, responsibility, reciprocity, and resilience will likely continue those coping mechanisms in their present situations.
Service providers who view intergenerational families from social systems and continuity perspectives are facilitated in their work with older families as they practice. Through the delivery of services, the respect intergenerational family members hold for one another can be solidified by knowledge of family history. In the following case example, older family members are reminded of their respectful treatment of one another and supported to continue that behavior in the present.
Case Example When Mrs. Johnson fell in her living room, she was unable to reach the telephone. Her daughter found her there later that day and was upset that her brother had not checked on their mother in the morning, as he had agreed to do. The home health aide, who arrived in the midst of the crisis, reminded the daughter of the brother's regular stops at the mother's home and of their respectful work together in supporting their mother in the past. The home health aide asked the brother what had prevented him from checking on his mother that morning.
He responded that his eight year old daughter had become sick at school and he had to pick her up during his lunch hour. He told both his mother and sister that he was sorry he had been unable to check on the mother and expressed his feelings of guilt.
Both mother and sister responded that they would have done the same in similar circumstances. Respectfulness and Responsible Behavior The home health aide reminded family members of their past cooperation and respectful work together.
In addition, she did not join in by blaming the brother but, instead, provided him with an opportunity to explain why he had not checked on his mother. Through modeling respectful behavior, the service provider facilitated the family in showing respect. Present family crises can be reframed as opportunities to solidify family members' respect for one another.
As noted above, intergenerational families engage in caregiving activities for a variety of reasons. The responsible behavior that family members show to one another can be supported by service providers. First, service providers must acknowledge that intergenerational families may differ in the manner in which they evidence responsibility to their older members.
One type of care is not necessarily better than another. As Rowe and Kahn note, "No single type of support is uniformly effective; effectiveness depends of the appropriateness of the supportive acts to the requirements of the situation and the person"p.
Second, and along these same lines, different populations carry out responsible behavior in different ways.
Cultural backgrounds, ethnicity, racial experiences, and religious heritages all contribute to the manner in which responsibility to other generations of family members is enacted. Diller suggests that service providers engage in work with African American families that celebrates their uniqueness and strengths, rather than pressuring those families to engage in supportive behavior similar to other populations.
Diller stresses the importance of identifying the particular traditions of each individual family within a specific population to find the roles they play in caregiving, but warns that the service provider will need to have established a trusting relationship before this can be accomplished. Third, service providers need to be aware of each client's definition of family. Although many caregivers are women Hamon, who are relatives Briggs,it is not safe to assume that the primary caregiver in a particular situation is a woman, a daughter, or even a blood relative.
The caregiver may be a daughter-in-law, or even fictive kin. The caregiver may also be a neighbor or church member, but with emotional and responsibility ties that resemble those of family members. The professional's support of these relationships of responsibility can result in continued or added intergenerational support for the recipient of care.
Some types of family responsibility should not be encouraged. Families may define responsible behavior as caregiving that does not result in the best care for the older member.
Montenko and Greenberg suggest that "when families have a history of violence, abuse, or neglect, continued dependence may not be advisable"p.
Whether the service provider encourages family caregiving in these situations would depend on the level of dependence and type and extent of family behavior. Older parents may still desire to see and have a relationship with a child who has abused them, and adult children who are or have been abused or abusive may have this desire as well.
The service provider needs to know family history and allow for self-determination to the extent possible, based on a who is the client, and b whether or not the client is able to give informed consent. If an abusive child wishes to continue caring for an older parent, the service provider has a responsibility to protect an older client. Also, if the older client is not able to give informed consent to the relationship, the service provider must take steps to provide service delivery in a manner which protects that client.
In these cases, the best relationship may be a limited, monitored one in which the past abuser is educated and the abused individual is protected. However, in most situations, the service provider's role is to support intergenerational responsibility among family members. Not only does this provide support that can facilitate the well-being of the older client, but it also provides rewards for younger family members, including an enhanced self-concept, feelings of worth, and a sense of belonging to the family.