15 Insights on Improving Mother-Daughter Relationships
There are more unhealthy mother-daughter relationships than you might think. It's possible that the connection with your own daughter is. Paul Simon was right about the mother and child reunion being a very close bond. The parent-child relationship is qualitatively different than all. This test will allow you to explore your relationship with your mother, and help you to tests. /. 30 Aug your role as a grown-up child, understanding your mother's influence - good and bad - and discover what sort of daughter you are.
TEST: How do you get on with your mother?
They may use you as their role model — making others responsible for their feelings, rather than being self-responsible. They may feel invaded and controlled by you and as a result, withdraw, resist, or act out in anger.
As adults, they may have a hard time taking responsibility for themselves. They might feel lost and empty inside as a result of not learning how to take responsibility for their own feelings. As a parent, it is important to have a sense of passion and purpose in your life, separate from your children.
It is too big a burden for children to be the center of your life. Defining your worth through your children makes them feel trapped in being what you want them to be, rather than being themselves. If you do not have work, hobbies or other interests that are important to you, then you might be making your children your sole purpose in life, and you might be making them responsible for your feelings of self-worth.
They need to see you as a productive member of society, whether it is through your work, volunteer work, or creative activities and hobbies. They need to feel free to be themselves and follow their own path in life, without feeling that they will hurt or disappoint you.
Rather than imposing your way upon them, they need to feel your love and support for who they are, rather than who you think they should be. You will end up with a far better relationship with your children if you learn how to make yourself happy and define your own worth, rather than making your children responsible for you.
- 15 Insights on Improving Mother-Daughter Relationships
- Test: What kind of daughter are you?
- Are You an Enmeshed Parent?
As adults, they will continue to want to spend time with you if you are your own person. However, if they feel obligated to be with you, they might resist.
Test: How has your father shaped you? | Psychologies
Make the first move. Doing so inevitably leaves relationships stuck. Many think that the only way to improve a relationship is for the other person to change their ways. Interestingly, this can still alter your relationship.
Think of it as a dance, she said. When one person changes their steps, the dance inevitably changes. Both moms and daughters often have idealistic expectations about their relationship.
For instance, kids commonly think their mom will be nurturing and present — always. This idea can develop from an early age. When her kids were young, Mintle found herself setting up this unrealistic belief during their nightly reading time. Lack of communication is a common challenge with moms and daughters. Be an active listener.
They realize conflict is inevitable and they deal with it head on. This applies to mother and daughter relationships, too, she said. Not resolving conflict can have surprising consequences. But pick your battles.
Test: How has your father shaped you?
Instead of arguing about something so small, Mintle put the hat on and moved on. Put yourself in her shoes. But a panoramic lens provides a much wider view, letting us see the object in a larger context. Mintle views forgiveness as key for well-being.
Balance individuality and closeness.10 Gaslighting Signs in an Abusive Relationship
It can be challenging for daughters to build their own identities. Sometimes daughters think that in order to become their own person, they must cut off from their moms, Mintle said.
Both are clearly problematic. But daughters can find their voices and identities within the relationship. We learn how to deal with conflict and negative emotions through our families, Mintle said. Mintle and her mom had a positive relationship but sometimes struggled with this balance.