How Do You Know When Your Marriage Is Over? | About Islam
The Prophet (S) of Islam and all of the Imams (a.s) have laid great emphasis on the institution of marriage. "The Prophet (S) stated: 'Whoever gets married, has. Husband or Wife; we all have long and strenuous days. practical, yet powerful, lessons from the Messenger to help rekindle our relationships. The wife on the other hand, she initially tries to please her husband. She slowly loses . This will rekindle the flame of love in your marriage. 7) Assisting .. Surely islam and its sunnah is the most beautiful way of life. Reply ↓.
It may be the single most difficult sin to convince someone to leave. I knew a brother who left Islam for a girl, because when all else fails, this is the last arrow Shaytan throws at the believer because it works. You may not think so now, but you WILL get over it. After all, Allah tells us: And He provides for him from sources that he could never imagine. Especially since Shaytan spends his days and nights trying to make the forbidden so beloved to you. Get more of our great articles.
Move on, work on pleasing Allah, and you will have no regrets.
But just to make things easy for you, here are 21 practical steps you can take to get over that haram relationship, divided up into seven categories: Just Knock it Off 1. End the Relationship Cold Turkey Enough with the games already.
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Stop dipping your toes in the water and jump in. Someone asking for advice once said that he thought it would be a good idea that instead of hanging out as often they would just talk on the phone and meet for coffee every once in a while. Stopping cold turkey is the first step. This will make you both miserable, will make things harder, and will make it impossible to move on. Cut the Cord Delete all the emails, texts, Facebook messages, phone number, voice mails, and anything else you have that reminds you of that person.
Avoid situations where you will run into them as much as possible. Avoid talking to them in general, and definitely not without someone else present. Do it over email and keep it short, sweet, and not open ended by any interpretation.
And ask them not to contact you. The sooner you do this the better. Control Your Emotions 5. Turn the Radio Off This is not a debate about the permissibility of music. Every song will be about you two. Just lay off of it for a bit and give yourself some time off.
Let other, more important things occupy your thoughts. Read a book instead. Realize that you never really loved them for the sake of Allah, no matter how much you thought you did or what MSA event you met them at. Engage in light hearted discussions with her-something to laugh and joke over.
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam on many occasions would discuss stories, events and have light hearted discussions. This is one angle which is neglected more so than often. They do not get into light hearted conversations. Instead, the husband rings his friends and chuckles with them. The wife on the other hand giggles during the day with her friends. This should not be the case. Focus and divert all your amusement and entertainment at your spouse.
If you want to laugh, then let it be that you are laughing with your wife. Make it a point in your busy schedule daily where you sit with your wife and do nothing but have fun with her. Once when the Ethiopians were practicing target shooting in the masjid complex, the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stood with his wife watching.
Not only did the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stand with his wife, he put his cloak around her. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam although he had other jobs to do, he stayed there standing with his wife. He only went when his wife wanted to go. When it is raining, cold or sunny, one should shelter his wife.
You should be willing to sacrifice your errands to spend time with your wife. When the spouse sees sacrifice for her sake, it will create immense love and respect in their heart.
The famous incident of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam challenging his wife to race is well known. When a couple can have such good times together, it only ignites the love even more.
Linguistically it means the little reddish one, but the scholars state that in reality it refers to someone who is so fair that due to the sun they get a reddish tan. One has to show his partner love and affection in every little thing. One needs to feed love constantly to his spouse to keep the flame burning.
The husband and wife should be constantly complementing and praising each other. The husband has to show his love and attraction to his wife. The wife needs to show her infatuation for her husband. When there is a reciprocal relationship, the marriage climbs heights. I do not want to take all of my rights from her so that she will not take all of her rights from me because Allah, the Exalted, stated the following: The wife only dresses when it is a special occasion.
The husband on the hand stays scruffy and does not take care to be neat and tidy. If the couple want their everyday to be a special occasion like their wedding day, they must dress to impress! The wife should wear the clothing which pleases her husband. Likewise, the husband should wear what the wife likes. Every time the husband and wife glance at each other, the glance should arouse them and stir up more love for their spouse. This will ignite the love in the heart.
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would have a container for perfume. He would use perfume constantly. Looking good, keeping clean, smelling nice compliments a relationship exceptionally. Make sure you hair is tidy, your clothes are neat and you smell pleasant.
This will attract your spouse always and inject affection into the marriage. How unmanly and shameful is it when a husband discusses his wife to his friends? The secrets and issues of the spouse must not be narrated at all to anyone.
Do not talk about your wife to others. Your wife is for you. You are for your wife. If her high expectations lead to divorce, the woman will be deprived of the love of her children, and will have to live a life of loneliness.
For these women remarriage will not happen easily. Even if it does happen, it is not certain that the marriage will work out since most human beings do not like to be kept in unreasonable bondage and the new husband may not be able to meet their demands any better than the previous one.
Instead of being covetous, try to be reasonable. Spend more time and effort for the well-being of your family and husband rather than trying to imitate everyone. If your husband spends lavishly, then stop him and curb his unnecessary expenses.
10 Habits of Happy Muslim Couples - guiadeayuntamientos.info
Instead of buying non-essential commodities, it is better to save some money for a rainy day. She would taste the wrath of Allah on the Day of Resurrection'. After having faith in Allah, there is not any greater blessing than to have a compatible spouse'. In fulfilling this responsibility, the man of the household must confront many problems and obstacles outside of the home. Some of these problems may be the pressures of work, the hassles of traffic and commuting from the office to home, concerns over economical and political issues of the day, empathy and concern for friends and colleagues, and the pressures of trying to improve the living conditions of his family.
The amount of preoccupations and pressures upon a responsible man is enormous and multifaceted. It is no wonder that the average lifespan of a man is less than the woman. In order for the human being to be able to cope with the burdens of life it is necessary to have someone to listen to and sympathize with him. Your husband is no exception. He may feel alone and in need of finding refuge and comfort amidst these pressures. It is natural that the man looks towards his wife and family as a source of comfort and relief.
Therefore, anticipate his expectations and needs. Be cordial and warm when he first returns home after working and have refreshments or let him feel that you are at his disposal to care for his needs. Try not to overwhelm him with criticizing him the minute you see him.
Let him rest and recover his strength before putting up the demands of the family's personal issues. When your husband comes home, try to have a smile and a warm greeting for him. Attend to his physical needs of fatigue, hunger, and thirst. Then ask him about his problems. If he is not willing to talk, be a good listener and sympathize with him.
Try to express your genuine concern and then help him realize that the problems are not as impossible and huge as he had thought. Give him encouragements of support to help him cope with the issues. You can say something like this: These problems are being faced by many people. With a strong will-power and patience, it is possible to overcome the difficulties as long as one does not let the problems get the better of you. These problems, as a matter of fact, are tests as well as builders of the true character of a person.
You can solve them through determination and perseverance. If you have some ideas on handling the problems, share them with your husband. If not, may be you can suggest a good friend who is more qualified. You should come to his aid and nurse him like a sympathetic psychiatrist and wife. What a psychiatrist could give the amount of care that you would give? Do not underestimate your ability to soothe and strengthen him. There is no one more devoted and concerned over your husband's well-being other than yourself.
He would be able to draw strength from your devotions to him and cope with his problems which will relieve his emotional and mental pressures. Consequently, the mutual bond of respect and love would also be greater which can only lead towards strengthening your marital relationship. And a good wife is the one whose husband, becomes glad upon seeing her'.
They are kind and sympathetic. They support their husbands in times of difficulty and in the affairs of this world and the next. These women do not commit any acts which would incur a loss upon their husbands nor multiply their difficulties'.
Acts of goodwill may then become second nature to the person whereby it becomes a habit to spend and share one's wealth for those in need. However, if the acts of goodwill are taken for granted and unappreciated, the person may lose the desire and drive to do good. It would be natural for a person to conclude that it was a waste to give away his hard earned money when it was unappreciated. Gratitude and appreciation are admirable characteristics in a person and it is the secret by which one may attract charitable acts.
Even Allah has mentioned that gratitude for His blessings are conditional on the continual perpetuation of his grace upon mankind: If you are grateful would certainly give to you more, and if you are ungrateful, My chastisement is fully severe" Your husband is also human.
Like everyone else, he enjoys being appreciated. He is willing to support his family and regards it as a moral and lawful obligation. When he is thanked and appreciated for doing his duty, those duties no longer seem to be a burden. Whenever he buys home appliances or something like clothes and shoes for you and the children, be happy and thank him.
Show your gratitude for the trivial things he does such as buying groceries, taking the family on trips and gives you your allowance. By showing your appreciation, you will make your husband feel good and rewarded for the trouble he has taken.
Be careful that you do not take his duties for granted and become indifferent towards his contributions to the family. He may become disheartened about the welfare of the family. He may prefer to spend his money elsewhere or on himself. If a friend or relative presented you with a pair of stockings or a bunch of flowers, you would thank them repeatedly. So it is only natural and fair to show appreciation to your husband for his consideration and thoughtfulness.
Do not think that you would be belittling yourself by demonstrating your appreciation. On the contrary, you would be loved and cared for more because you appreciate the efforts of your husband whereas snobbism and selfishness can only lead towards great misfortunes. The following are some Traditions referring to the characteristics of gratitude: Some are too tail or too short, or too fat or too skinny, have a big nose or a small one, talk too much or are too silent, are bad-tempered or too easy-going, have a very dark complexion or a very fair complexion, or eat too much, or too less, and the list can continue.
Most men and women have some of these shortcomings. It is the hope of every man and woman to find a spouse who is perfect but such hopes are unrealistic. It is unlikely to find a woman who regards her husband as perfect.
Those women who are in search of faults in their husbands will undoubtedly find them. They would find a trivial shortcoming and exaggerate it by dealing on the matter to the point that it becomes an unbearable impediment. This defect then replaces all the merits of the husband. They always compare their husbands with other men.
They have established a so-called ideal man in their imaginations whose standards do not fit in their husbands. Therefore, they are always complaining about the shortcomings in their marriage. The women regard themselves as unfortunates and failures which gradually turn them into spiteful women. What does such behaviour in a woman do to her husband? He may be a very patient person who can tolerate his rudeness but most likely he will become insulted and develop a grudge against her.
This would likely lead towards mutual arguments and elaborations of the shortcomings in each other. They will both become contemptuous of each other and their life wit! Thus, they will either live in misery together or go for a divorce. In either case, both will lose, especially when there is no guarantee that another marriage may prove otherwise. It is a pity that some women are ignorant and obstinate in their ignorance. It is possible that they may shatter their family life over a trivial matter.
The following are some illustrative cases of such women: She was not prepared to go back home until he corrected his problem. On the basis of the husband's complaint, the court reconciled the couple and the wife returned to him. When the couple went home, the wife could still smell his bad breath so she went into another room.
The husband went crazy and killed her'. There are those who are intelligent, realistic, and aware enough that they do not foolishly jeopardize their marriage and happiness by exaggerating the shortcomings of their husbands.Relationship between husband and wife
Your husband is a human being like you. He is not perfect, but he may have many merits. If you are interested in your marriage and your family then do not set out to find his weaknesses. Do not regard his small defects as important. Do not compare him with an ideal man whom you have established in your mind. There may be some faults with your husband which are not present in others. But you should remember that other men may have other defects which are non-existent in yours.
Be satisfied with his merits. You will consequently see that his merits outweigh his faults. Besides why should you expect a perfect husband when you are imperfect yourself. If you are proud enough to think you are perfect, then ask others.
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Why should you shatter your life for the sake of something unimportant? Ignore the faults and do not mention them in front of or behind your husband. Try to create a warm atmosphere in your family and enjoy the blessings of Allah. However, there may be flaws in your husband's character which you may be able to correct.
If so, then you can succeed only by behaving considerately and with patience. You must not criticize him or start a row, but approach him in a friendly manner. Before your marriage you may have had other offers of matrimony.
These offers may be from rich, educated, handsome men, etc whom you may have wished to marry. Such expectations were natural before your marriage. But now that you have chosen your partner and signed a sacred covenant with him to be together for the rest of your life, then forget the past altogether.
You must put aside your past wishes and forget those past offers. Do not think of any men except your husband and find peace with him.
If you do otherwise you will place yourself in a strained condition. Now that you have agreed to live with your husband, why should you be constantly noticing other man? Why should you compare him with others? What do you achieve by looking at other men except putting yourself in a permanently miserable state and cause mental anguish for yourself?
You might then think that man is perfect, because you are not aware of the deficiencies of such a man. You regard your marriage as a failure and this thought might lead to disastrous ends. In the police station the woman said that, after three years of marriage, she gradually felt that she did not love her husband.
If you are interested in an everlasting marriage; if you do not want mental distress; and if you want to conduct a normal life, then stop being selfish and forget your vain hopes. Do not make compliments for other men. Do not think of any man other than your husband.
Do not think to yourself: Why should you upset the foundations of your marriage? If any of those wishes had come true, how would you know that you would have been more satisfied?
Are you sure that the wives of those so-called "faultless" men are satisfied with them? If your husband suspects that you show interest in other men, he would be disheartened and would lose interest in you. You must not cut jokes with other men or keep company with them. Men are so sensitive that they cannot even tolerate their wives to show an interest in a picture of another man.
One such characteristic is that women are delicate, beautiful, and likable beings. They are charming, attractive, and lovable; whereas men are charmed, attracted by and love women's qualities. When a man marries a woman, he wishes all his wife's beauty and affection to be reserved for him. He wishes to be the only one who benefits from her charm, affection, coquettishness, beauty, sense of humour, etc and to strictly avoid men.
Man is, by nature, very ardent and intolerant of another man either looking at his wife or having any kind of relationship with her. He would regard a close relationship between his wife and other men to be a violation of his lawful right.
He expects his wife to observe Islamic Hijab statutory Islamic dress for women and by adapting herself to Islamic behaviour and ethics she cooperates in maintaining his lawful rights. Any faithful and fervent man would have such a wish.