Is The Stepdaughter-Stepmother Relationship Doomed? | HuffPost Life
I pulled this excerpt from a paper written by Dr. Linda Neilsen. This is another one of the pieces I wish I had when I began my Stepmom journey. I would. Nov 17, I'm a year-old female and nearing the end of my life as a child. My parents have been divorced for about four years now, which is for the. Apr 14, As I stepmom, I know that I also wanted to have a close relationship with my “ bonus” kiddos. While not all of the boys (yes, I have 4 stepsons!) desired to have a.
The mother of my own stepkids hit 4 of those 5 risk factors. This is something you will never be able to influence even a tiny bit, much less control. Absolutely nothing you can do, no reassurance you can give, is going to make her stop being jealous and possessive of the kids.
Note about that last bit: First, the children usually feel too disloyal or too guilty to let themselves like or enjoy their stepmother — let alone to love her. So no matter how hard the stepmother tries, the stepchildren reject her, keep their distance, or view her with suspicion. And ironically, the stepmother who tries the hardest and who is doing a good job as a stepparent often gets criticized the most.
How to Form a Successful Relationship with Your Children’s Stepmom | ESME
The Father The paper spends a great deal less time on fathers than it does on mothers, which I think is unfortunate, as the father does unlike the stepmother have significant control over her relationship with his kids. Given your description of the situation, I have several suggestions for you.
It sounds to me like you would very much like for things to settle down. Here are my suggestions: Have a private talk with your father and ask him how he sees the situation. He may not be aware of the complicated dynamics going on.
Perhaps he can be a source of support to you and your stepmother as you try to negotiate a more comfortable relationship.
Stepmothers and stepdaughters: A charged relationship
Take a good, hard look at your own behavior and ask yourself if you may be doing something to anger your stepmother. Perhaps unconsciously, you have been less than pleasant to her. I am certainly not accusing you of anything here. I am just trying to approach this situation from a variety of angles.
A 10 Step Plan for Mom and Stepmom Relationships | The Mixing Bowl
I am not sure if there is anyone else who observes the relationship between you and your stepmother. Perhaps there is a sibling who bears witness to the relationship. If so, ask for their honest feedback about what is going on. Do everything in your power to try to improve the relationship, including going through steps 1 to 3 listed above. If, however, things continue to remain at this high level of tension then I would like to suggest that you protect your well-being by spending less time around your stepmother and by disengaging a bit.
We can sit together at a school or sporting event and share in friendly chitchat.
A 10 Step Plan for Mom and Stepmom Relationships
How did I arrive at this place of relative peace when I started the relationship in inner turmoil? It is not going to be a positive one unless you specifically intend for it to be. I have frequently said that it is one of the most unnatural familial constructs to leave your children not under your control and in the care of a person not of your choosing. It is painful at its worst, uncomfortable at its best, but unavoidable when your former spouse or partner remarries.
So, as a Solo Mom, you have to decide what you want the relationship to be and make it so. When my ex-husband and I divorced, I decided that I was going to do everything in my power to have an amicable relationship with the father of my children. Similarly, I had to decide that I could not be at odds with the woman who was partially responsible for the care of my children.