The Power of Attraction and the Divine Game of Polarity in Relationships - Advaita Stoian
The importance of relationships is demonstrated by findings that show that among all partners we describe the journey from attraction to romantic relationship from this All relationships involve interdependence and we have the power to. One answer is that no, physical attraction isn't important and shouldn't be Yet, it is this question that, if asked carefully and compassionately, has the power to. Attraction plays a major part in our romantic relationships. After all, attraction is important for many reasons. 1. You deserve to feel the power of attraction.
Clearly, the answer to loneliness is not just the quantity of relationships, but whether the connections satisfy emotional needs. Some people have few relationships, and enjoy the experience of being alone. If we find in ourselves good company, our needs for others are diminished. Those who have rich emotional lives are less dependent on others for satisfaction of emotional needs. However, many people feel the wrenching experience of loneliness. Some causes of loneliness are situational due to common life changes in our mobile societies.
We move often, and when we do we lose some of our relationships. For example, new opportunities for work require our presence in another part of the country or abroad, and young students attend universities away from family and friends.
In these and in many other cases people lose their known social network and support groups. On some occasions we lose relationships permanently due to the death of loved ones, and the resulting grief can produce feelings of prolonged loneliness. Other people suffer from chronic loneliness.
Chronically lonely people are often in poor health, and their lives are associated with many issues of social maladjustment including alcohol abuse and depression. Weiss described two forms of loneliness. Social loneliness is produced by the absence of an adequate social network of friends. The answer to that kind of loneliness is establishing new contacts, perhaps by involvement in the community.
Emotional loneliness, on the other hand is the deprivation felt from the absence of intimacy in our lives. We all need at least one significant other with whom we can share intimate thoughts and feelings, whether in the form of a friend or spouse. An emotionally lonely person may be well connected, but still feel the gnawing disquiet even in the midst of a crowd. As we noted in the introduction, our childhood experiences predispose us toward a variety of relationship problems or enjoyments of life.
On the other hand, being in a satisfying relationship is a primary guard against feelings of loneliness, this is especially true for those who commit themselves to lifelong relationships e. Demographic variables also have an effect on loneliness.
Those who are poor struggle more with all forms of insecurity, and have less possibilities for participating in social relationships. For example due to lack of money poor people often cannot participate in social activities. Age is also a factor. Most may think that old age is a time of loneliness as people lose relationships to death or other causes. Some research Perlman, however, shows that teenagers and young adults suffer most from isolation.
Youth is a time when biology is insistent on connecting with others, particularly with a member of the opposite sex, and the absence of intimate relationships is felt most keenly. Some young people feel not only lonely, but rejected and ostracized. Interacting with people affects our emotional lives. Unhappiness in lonely people, however, may not be due to the absence of people alone. Unhappy friends are not rewarding to be around, and they might be lonely because they are unhappy, rather than unhappy because they are lonely Gotlib, Our need to belong is manifest in all cultures and societies.
It is obviously functional to the infant who needs protection. However, adults also could not function in society without supportive relationships. These needs to belong are universal, and if not satisfied produce many negative results.
Further, our relationships help form our self-concept chapter 2 and our most significant behaviors. Our relationships largely determine how we think about the world, and our emotional well-being. This is sometimes manifested by total devotion to the mother, gazing and smiling when in contact, crying when she leaves the room. As the child gets a little older the pattern may continue, initially having nothing to do with the rest of the family. The attachments of the child may gradually change and she or he becomes fond of the father, grandmother and other relatives, proceeding normally from long attachment to the mother, to establishing new relationships with other people in her or his life.
The personal security and emotional warmth offered to the child is different for each caregiver. Therefore infants develop different attachment styles that in turn have profound effect on adult relationships. The avoidant attachment occurs when the caregiver is detached, unresponsive to the infant, and when in some cases the infant is rejected. This type of attachment leads to premature detachment and self-reliance. When the parent figure is at times available, but at other times not, and therefore is inconsistent in meeting the emotional needs of the child, the result is an anxious-ambivalent attachment style.
This type of infant may be anxious and often feel threatened. From the perspective of evolutionary theory, attachment has obvious survival value for the infant. Whether an adult is secure in relationships, and can foster shared intimacy, depends on the three attachment styles described above.
Psychoanalysis asserted that our childhood experiences have profound effects on adult behavior.
Infant attachment styles determine whom we associate with as adults and the quality of our relationships. However, there is some hope that we can change from infant maladaptive styles to more functional adult behaviors and relationship satisfaction. Life events may also influence our ability to form secure relationships.
Traumatic events that separate us from beloved family members through death or divorce, affect our ability to develop intimate relations. How we say goodbye, for example, at train stations and airports is reflective of our attachment styles. Avoidant romantic partners spent less time giving embraces, whereas those who were anxious expressed sadness and fear when separating.
How we express attachment may vary with culture. Being reserved is not universally diagnostic of having an avoidant attachment style. Even when significant others display negative behaviors such as unjustified criticisms, the secure person will see that behavior in a positive light Collins, A secure and positive outlook brings its own rewards.
These include, not surprisingly, more relationship satisfaction. On the other hand, anxious people are more likely to perceive threat. They view life events in pessimistic ways leading to depression, substance abuse, and eating disorders.
Our early bonds with caregivers matter a great deal as we move on in life. These attachment styles have significant effects on our current relationships, and our own sense of well-being.
Secure life styles based on a good start in life produce healthier relationships, and good personal health. Culture and socialization produce different relationships Fiske ; proposed a theory of relationships that suggest that we behave in four distinct ways in defining who we are, how we distribute resources, and how we make moral judgments.
A communal relationship put the interest of the group ahead of that of the individual. Types of groups in this category include families, or close social allies. In families what we contribute depends on what we can offer, and what is right to receive depends on the needs of the individual informed by benevolence and caring. In a family, children are different and require different resources.
One child may be intellectually gifted, and parental care may be shown by support for education. Disproportionate support for one child may result in fewer resources for another child.
In communal groups or families, resource distribution is decided by the needs of each member, and desire to help all. In the authority ranking groups the status and ranking hierarchy is what matters. Members of these groups are aware of the status differences, and roles tend to be clearly specified.
Military organizations are examples, but so are modern capitalist organizations that depend on a top down authoritarian structure. Tribal organizations are usually also authoritarian, and the chief determines who does what, and in what way performance is rewarded or punished.
The third type of relationship is equality matching. These relationships are based on equality in resources and preferred outcomes. Many friendships and marriages are governed by some norm of equality.
Members should have on the average the same rights, constraints or freedoms. The essential question asked in response to any requests or demands is: Is it also applicable to the capitalist market system based on the market pricing relationships. Fourth, relationships emerging from the market economy are governed in principle by equity, by what is considered fair. Salaries should be based on merit and equity, where the compensation received is proportional to the quality and effort made by the individual for example if you cannot pay for medical help, then you get none.
While Fiske claims these four types are universal, some relationships are emphasized in a particular culture. Capitalist societies rely on market pricing relationships, and increasingly we are seeing similar relationships in current and formerly socialist countries. They are interested in what ways adult love relationships are similar to the attachment patterns of infants. It seems that the intense fascination with the love object, parent or lover, is similar. The adult lover may gaze with intense fascination into the eyes of the beloved, much as the infant gazes into the eyes of the mother.
Lovers feel distress at separation, as do infants when the mother leaves the room. In both situations strong efforts are made to be together, spend time together and avoid separation. Adult love relationships also fall into the three attachment patterns described for children. There are differences as well, as adult relationships involve reciprocal care, and in some cases sexual attraction. Still, the mother would not gaze at the infant unless she found it very rewarding, and there is some reciprocal behavior there.
The mother loves her child and is rewarded by adorable gazing and smiles of the infant. Some psychologists feel that this early model of love becomes a working framework for later relationships.
The infant who has secure attachments with parents comes to believe that similar relationships can be established as an adult, that people are good and can be trusted. On the other hand the anxious-ambivalent attachment may produce fear, rejection of intimacy, and distrust in the relationship in the adult. The burden of the generations occurs when a parent passes on to the next generation the attachment style he developed as an infant.
The rejection a mother experienced as an infant may become the working model for her child rearing when she is a parent. There is hope for victims of dysfunctional attachment styles. Sometimes an adult love relationship is so powerful that it can overcome any negative experiences from childhood. Secure adults are comfortable with intimacy and feel worthy of receiving affection from another person.
As a consequence, they also perceive happiness and joy in their love relationships built on self-disclosure and shared activities. It should come as no surprise that secure individuals also have positive perceptions of parents as loving and fair. Later in life secure people develop more satisfying relationships. Avoidant persons, on the other hand, are often uncomfortable in getting intimate, and never develop full trust in the love partner.
They spend much time denying love needs, do not self disclose, and place more importance on being independent and self-reliant. The anxious- ambivalent person wants to become intimate, but worry that the other person does not feel the same.
Anxious adults tend to be obsessed with the object of love, experience emotional highs and lows, feel intense sexual attraction, and jealousy. They often feel unappreciated by their partners, and view their parents as being unhappy. In the effort to help the patient the therapist allows the patient to transfer feelings from some other significant other to the therapist. Temporarily the therapist becomes the father figure, or some other significant person in the therapeutic relationship.
We have all met people who remind us of others.
Importance of Power and Influence in Relationship Capital
The authors have all had the experience of meeting someone who was certain to have met one of us before, or believed we were closely related to someone they knew. Does the professor of this class remind you of a favored uncle or aunt? Chances are that you will transfer positive feelings toward the professor, and with such an auspicious beginning the outcome may be very good for your study. The relational self-theory is based on the idea that our prior relationships determine how we feel toward those who remind us of such significant others from our past.
They hypothesized that when we encounter someone who reminds us of a significant other from the past we are likely to activate a relational self that determines our interactions with the new person. Meeting people who remind us of past significant others even has emotional consequences. The participants expressed more positive emotion as judged by facial expressions after being exposed to information about a past positive significant other, and more negative facial expressions after exposure to the information of a negative person.
Our past relationships also determine our current interactions. This finding helps explain our preference for some individuals, and our rejection of others. Positive emotions result from being in the presence of people who remind us of previous positive relations. However, we should remind ourselves that these gut feelings are not the consequence of actual behavior or interactions.
Any immediate dislike may have more to do with unpleasant relations of the past, than the person with whom you are currently interacting. Previous relationships affect how we come about this construction of the world. This is logical when we realize that relationships form the basis of many of our memories.
A relationship helps to expand the self-concept by utilizing the resources and characteristics of the other person. These characteristics then become part of the self-concept. This became very visible to us when a close follower of a prominent leader we knew took on characteristics of the admired leader, even to the point of mimicking his speech patterns.
So-called transactive memory is demonstrated when partners know each other so well, that they can complete stories told by the other partner, and remember more information than two randomly paired people. Partners also collaborate in remembering facts. In driving to locations one partner may have good understanding of direction and long distance goals, and the other may remember specific street locations.
Collaborative memory is based on such close relationships. Social cognition is central to an understanding of social psychology and will be discussed in detail in chapter 4. Our past relationships with parents and close significant others have profound effects on attachment and liking, but that only partly answers the question of attraction.
Another answer to what motivates people to embark on a relationship is its contribution to survival and success. However, the average person probably does not evaluate attraction to others on such a calculating basis. That is to say, when it comes to understanding deeper levels of motivation, we like those who are associated with rewarding events and whose behavior is intrinsically rewarding. We dislike those whose behaviors are a burden to us.
At the level of motivation, conscious or unconscious, we seek to maximize our rewards and minimize costs. Many would consider these to be obvious variables in interpersonal attraction. As we shall see beauty is much more than skin deep, and along with similarity and propinquity have profound effects on whom we like, and on our relationships and social successes.
These early researchers performed a sociometric study in a housing complex for married students at MIT called Westgate West. The residents were asked to name their three closest friends. The majority of the respondents named people who lived in the same building, even though other housing units were nearby.
Even within the building proximity was a striking factor, with 41 percent naming their next-door neighbors as best friends, 22 percent named those living two doors away, and only 10 percent pointed to those living at the end of hallways as close friends.
The critical factor was the chance of coming in contact. Although there are exceptions when we come to dislike people living next door the result of Festinger and colleagues is a very optimistic finding of social psychology. It suggests that most people have the capacity for friendships if only given the opportunity. This might even be extended to the most intimate relationships. Rather than waiting for the one and only knight on the white horse, or Cinderella, as romantic illusions would have you do, propinquity findings would suggest that there are millions of potential partners if only given the chance for encounters.
The more we see people the more we like them, so proximity is about familiarity. Then why does familiarity produce liking? Is there some sense of security that comes from knowing that the familiar produces no harm?
Is it an evolutionary mechanism where the familiar reduces threat? Do we have an innate fear of the unfamiliar? Are strangers a threat, because we do not know enough about them to predict their behavior? Perhaps we like those who are familiar, because we can predict their behavior and they are non-threatening. They had female confederates attend class sitting in the first row. There was otherwise no interaction between the female confederates, the instructor, or other students.
Yet, when asked at the end of the term, the students rated these women highly for both liking and attractiveness. There is one caveat. If you find yourself instantly disliking what you consider an obnoxious person, exposure will intensify that effect Swap, For example there are strong correlations between the frequency of exposure to a variety of objects and liking.
Flowers that are mentioned more frequently in our literature are liked more than those mentioned less frequently, e. People, at least in the US, also like pine trees more than birches, and like frequently mentioned cities more than those less well known. Zajonc argues that it is the mere exposure effect. However, on the other hand perhaps people write more about violets than hyacinths because they are liked more? In another study the more the participants were exposed to words they did not understand Turkish words or Chinese pictographs the more they liked them Zajonc, The stimulus is paired with something desirable, namely the absence of any aversive conditions.
Computers are often used to make contact these days. All modern tools of communication can be used either for ethical or unethical purposes. There are predators online who lie or manipulate to take advantage of innocent young people. It is not safe. Online the individual has no way to confirm the truth of what another person is saying. Person-to-person we can check for all the nonverbal signals that we have learned from experience indicating truthfulness and trust.
On the other hand, we do not have to worry much about rejection in Internet relationships, so perhaps we have less to loose and therefore can be more honest online? We can more quickly establish intimate relationships, but we may in the process idealize the other person. Only face-to-face can we decide what is real, and even then we may idealize, although as we will see this can be healthy for long term relationship survival.
Proximity effects means that we often marry people who live in the same neighborhoods, or work for the same firm Burr, ; Clarke, The variable is optimistic about meeting someone because our world of potential relationships is unlimited. If our eyes are open we can find a mate somewhere close by, certainly within walking distance.
Perhaps proximity also points to other forms of interpersonal similarity. Generally people living in the same neighborhoods often also come from similar social classes, ethnic groups, and in some parts of the world from the same religious groups.
Proximity may therefore also be another way of pointing to similarity as a basis for liking. The vast majority of those who have had memorable interactions leading to intimacy lived either at the same residence or within one mile from the trusted person.
Faces are not completely symmetrical as most of us display some asymmetry where the left side of the face does not perfectly match the right. Our face to a friend looks different from that we see our selves. The mirror image with which we are familiar is reverse from that which the world sees. If familiarity or mere exposure has an effect, our friends should like the face to which they are accustomed, whereas the individual should also like the mirror image with which he is familiar.
It takes a great deal of effort and expense to maintain long distance relationships. As a result of our work we have relationships in different parts of the world. As the years go by it is more and more difficult to continue with friendships that when we were young we thought would last forever. When you do not see someone in the course of daily activities it takes more effort, and may be costly in other ways.
Long distance relationships take more dedication, time, and expense. Proximity may exert pressures toward liking. It is difficult living or working with someone we dislike. That cognitive dissonance may cause us to remove stress by stronger efforts of liking the individual. When we know we will interact with someone over time we are likely to focus on the positive qualities, as the alternative is too costly.
Think of working with a boss you do not like, how costly that could be? Therefore we put our best foot forward when we meet people who may become part of our daily lives.
How Important Is Physical Attraction in a Relationship - Beliefnet
Even the anticipation of interaction with others produce liking. Putting your best foot forward is a strategy to produce reciprocal liking. Showing again the opportunistic nature of our most intimate relationships, similarity in social class and religion were the strongest predictors of liking. Similarity of religion or social class may just be frequency or proximity factors, as the likelihood of exposure is greater for these categories. Similarity in physical attractiveness also plays a role and personality characteristics, although to a lesser extent Buss, The similarity effect holds true across a variety of relationships including friendship and marriage.
Not only are friends similar in social class and education, but also gender, academic achievement, and social behavior. A meta-analysis of 80 separate studies showed moderate relationships between similarity and attraction AhYun, Today dating services are established on the principle that similarity is good and functional in relationships. A good match means finding someone who is similar. Those participants who were matched in attitudes toward gender roles and sexual behavior had the most lasting relationships, one year and even 15 years later.
As mentioned above similarity is a potent variable in friendship and mate selection. What are some of the mechanisms that produce this effect? If the issue is important only those with the same or similar values are acceptable. So attraction is selective and we rarely encounter those whose views are different.
In relationships where the participant committed to someone with different values, or where the parties successfully hide their views, similarity could still be the outcome. Social influence may also change our views over time and produce more similarity.
We find pleasure in our relationships with similar others because they confirm our beliefs and the value of our person. When we meet with likeminded people, they validate our inner most values and expressed attitudes. The rest of the world may cast doubt on our beliefs, and may question who we are as persons, but the likeminded validate our ideologies and personal achievements.
Similarity allows for functional relationships and for more effective communication. When we are with those who are similar, communication is effortless, since we do not have to be on guard for disagreement or rejection.
People meet likeminded people at Church, or those with similar occupational interests at work. In many cases the apparent similarity is caused by the selectivity of our social environment. A politically progressive person does not attend meetings of the Ku Klux Klan a racist group in order to find a soul mate. We choose our friends from our social environment. Being in the same environment produces shared experiences and memories that serve to bond people.
We perceive similarity and from that conclude that the other person will like us, thereby initiating communication Berscheid, As a result of having a common basis, similarity in personality traits provides for smooth communications and interactions between people, therefore similarity is less costly.
In one study a young woman expressed an interest in a male participant by eye contact, listening with rapt attention, and leaning forward with interest. When we come to believe someone likes us we behave in ways that encourage mutual liking. We express more warmth, and are more likely to disclose, and behave in a pleasant way.
So liking someone works like a self-fulfilling prophecy. In some societies voluptuous women are considered beautiful, while in our society the fashion industry and the media define attractiveness as being thin. When it comes to personality based characteristics two factors lead to liking. Warm people are those who have an optimistic outlook on life and people.
We like them because they are a source of encouragement in an otherwise discouraging world. Warm people are a pleasure to be around and therefore rewarding. Sometimes the interviewees expressed negativity toward these objects, in other cases positive views. The participants expressed a greater liking for the interviewee who expressed positive views, i.
Social intelligence can be demonstrated by being a good conversationalist. Obviously communication skills are essential to long-lasting relationships. Those with high communication skills saw interactions as complex with highly valued psychological components. People with low skill levels saw communications as more straightforward and less complicated. To communicate at the same level is a very important aspect of attraction and liking.
Operating at the same skill level is rewarding, as we feel empathy and understanding. But are we not also told that opposites attract? Do tall dark men not prefer short attractive blonds? What about the assertive person meeting the less dominant individual? Or the person who has a rich fantasy life marrying the realist? Are there not times when opposites attract because in some ways we complement each other?
Certainly, for sexual relations the vast majority of humankind seeks the opposite sex, only a minority is attracted to similarity. The masculine and feminine is the supreme example from nature that opposites attract. Complementary personality traits produce liking for only a few personality traits Levinger, ; Winch, When complementarities lead to attraction, it appears to be a rare exception to the dominant effect of similarity.
How Important Is Physical Attraction in a Relationship?
Even in cases where personalities are complementary on some traits, they have many more similar traits in common. Interracial couples are similar in other significant ways, in attitudes and values. The dissimilarity is, however, more prominent and is judged more prominently by society which affects an individual evaluation of the dissimilarity. But the significance of similarity in interethnic friendships is less important today than in former times.
Attitudes toward interracial relationships and marriage are becoming increasingly accepted in society, and interracial marriages are on the increase. The vast majority of all racial groups in the US approve of interracial marriages today Goodheart, The studies which support interracial tolerance in intimate relationships appear to differ with the public opinion survey to be cited in chapter 9 which indicated parents prefer similarity of race for their daughters.
The conclusion of the public opinion survey was that social norms now favor such relationships. However, when the respondents were asked something more personal namely, how would they feel if their daughter would be part of an interracial marriage, the outcome was slightly different.
The respondents preferred that their daughter not be a part of an interracial relationship. People are willing to give the normative correct responses to surveys, but hold private and subtler negative attitudes when it affects members of their own family.
It must be said, however, that negative evaluations of interracial relationships occur before a relationship is established. Once an interracial relationship is a fact, many opinions change in favor of family harmony and acceptance. A recommendation for success! Physical attraction is a powerful determinant of liking and has lifelong benefits. Attend any social event and who do you first notice? If you are a heterosexual man, you will first notice the attractive women, and if you are a woman your eyes will feast on the handsome men.
As we shall see there are little differences between the sexes in the appeal of physical attractiveness. First impressions are important, as without these few people would initiate contact.
So while physical attractiveness is important in the early phases of a relationship, the benefits continue in a variety of ways. There may even be a biological basis as preferences for attractive appearance occur early in life. Physical development sometimes brings beauty later in life Zebrowitz, The students had previously taken a number of personality measures and aptitude tests. Participants had also been rated independently on physical attractiveness. Having spent a short time dancing and talking, the couples were asked to indicate liking and desire to meet the person again.
However, in this study there were no differences as female as well as males expressed preferences for physical attractiveness. The contradictions are easy to explain when we remember the different norms governing the attractiveness issue for men and women. Men are more likely to respond to the common and accepted stereotype that physical attractiveness is important for men, whereas women respond to their stereotype that other traits matter.
But in actual behavioral preferences there are few differences. The two photos were used to elicit the physical attractiveness or unattractiveness stereotype. The respondents in both the attractive and unattractive conditions spoke to the same person.
In the new age of video dating, participants show strong preferences for attractive potential dates Woll, At the core of a polar couple relationship is LOVE and the power that it generates.
LOVE gives reason that reason cannot understand, and motivates our hearts to grow and reach out to one another beyond the self-assumed boundaries of our egos. But at the root of attraction, and especially erotic attraction in a relationship, is polarity. The very engine of the attraction that keeps the couple relationship in the flow of their love is the game of polarity — the game between masculine and feminine. It is what gives life and support to everything.
In Tantra, it is known as the game between Shiva and Shakti — the universal masculine and feminine. It can be easily observed within one human being as the play between our synthetic and analytic capacity, as the balance between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, and so on.
But the easiest place to see it scaled down to human life is within a couple relationship because in the relationship the specific polarity of each individual is greatly amplified.
Attraction is empowered by polarity. This is an esoteric key that can explain many things throughout our life. If we want attraction then the key is intense polarity. This empowers the life of the couple relationship and it also empowers all the phenomena we want to control within the relationship and within our individual lives. Intense polarity will increase the speed of transformation as well as the capacity to control it.
Polarity — the Secret to a Long-lasting Relationship Quite simply, from this perspective the secret to a long-lasting and intensely alive relationship is keeping up the game of polarity. Empowered by a strong polarity the manifestations of love are potent and stable, the two lovers become emotionally generous and want to share their love with the world.
When polarity diminishes, attraction decreases, problems amplify and deepen, transformation slows down and life loses its colors.
Usually, the man gets lazy and the woman gets superficial and the super intense battery that was created in the beginning is now practically flat. What to do when this happens? From my own experience I know that the initial spark of love can be brought back as often as the two lovers want, if they know how to apply this knowledge.
In my relationship with my wife we did this again and again. After discovering this secret, we constantly re-ignited the flame of the relationship until we loved each other like when we were teenagers. Regaining the feelings that otherwise appeared to be long gone is a gift of youth that we gave to each other and to our relationship.
It is perhaps the most important gift we ever gave. In order to you reignite the passion you have to recharge the battery — to restore and even increase polarity. The effects are wondrous: And with the newly restored power, our love rises again on the sky of our soul, soaring above all problems and even conquering new horizons. This gives the feeling of rebirth of the intense love that is similar to what existed in the beginning. This is one of the best kept secrets about relationships. Knowing and applying this equips us to be able to have a long-lasting, deeply fulfilling, intensely happy relationship.
Gender Complementarity vs Gender Equality I have analysed the meaning of gender in depth in life and in my experience in the couple relationship with my wife, Adina. She and I have always been very different from many perspectives but this always generated the spin of the polarity engine, the reason for renewed fascination, passion, attraction and love.
Exactly in the same way, we have polarity between all phenomena in the universe and all dynamism always appears between 2 poles that are complementary. These two poles complement and empower each other at the same time. Even if its normal that the two poles of a power unit are fundamentally different without being wrong, we tend to forget this in our daily existence today.
Failing to understand the role of polarity and the complementarity that exists between men and women leads to a lack of dynamism in relationships, lack of attraction, and ultimately the inability to have a relationship. Underlining the polar difference between men and women is not conflictual, but a revelation about the complementarities that naturally exist. Men and women are different, neither is better than the other.
Instead of making an effort to understand these differences, thus to understand each other and our polar role, we have opted instead to try to level the playing field. Now there is almost an obsession with gender equality which is actually mistakenly leading to gender neutrality. Unisex culture pervades Western culture as a reaction to what we see in other cultures where one gender suppresses the other in an attempt to deal with the powerful attraction generated by the natural occurrence of balanced polarity.