The fight may start over who gets the toy or who gets the best seat in the car but Equally, parents find it hard to understand why their twins constantly bicker. Aug 29, Finding meaning behind the twin relationship. Twin fighting, which can turn into twin estrangement, is very common, painful, and troubling for twins. Fighting Profoundly accepting that once a twin always a twin is what it is. Aug 28, If you are parents of twins and are horrified by the extended fighting, biting and situations and teach your twins the benefits of a caring relationship with each other. If you want to stop your twins from fighting, stop shouting.
This will help them feel independent, important and special and the more they feel this way the less they may fight.
It can be a trip to get ice cream or if you have to run an errand just take turns taking a baby. If they feel they are getting the attention they need, it may put them in a better mood and they my fight a little less.
Double Trouble: What To Do When Twin Toddlers Constantly Fight | MadameNoire
Time Out When they fight over something or one hits or bites the other try time out. Designate a time out area and let them sit there for five minutes.
Right afterwards explain why they had to sit in time out and reinforce nice touch versus hitting. Positive Reinforcement Make sure that in addition to reprimanding in different ways for bad behavior that you congratulate them when they do good things. When you see them playing nice or doing things for each other tell them how proud you are and that it makes you happy. Trending on MadameNoire Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section.
When parents are not involved, twins will make their own rules up for fairness, which more often than not backfires into more serious warfare.
Fighting can be a slippery slope for twins. Too much intensity over who is the best or who is right or who is more important over a long period of time will eventually erode the twin attachment. But disagreements and separate interests and personality have a psychological function in the development of individuality.
Seriously, twins can fight about anything from who is first to whose fault is it anyway. Hopefully, wanting what you want or what your twin wants is based on individual likes and dislikes. Unfortunately, sometimes fighting is just based on senseless competition, which is destructive. Healthy disagreement is the beginning of an individual identity for twins.
Different needs and separation between twins allows for individual experiences and new input into their early exclusive attachment. Too much time together will surely lead to more and more arguments and more and more entanglements.
In childhood, fighting between twins on the deepest level is about the development of individuality. Contentiousness or power struggles provide the mini-steps that eventually create a unique sense of self for each member of the twin pair.
Double Trouble: What To Do When Twin Toddlers Constantly Fight
At other times, whatever your twin likes is often different than what you may look forward to choosing for yourself. For example, one twin wants to go to baseball camp and the other twin wants to go to Shakespeare camp. Long and tense conversations may ensue over disagreements about the right choice.
In these situations, expressing different opinions is not only good but necessary and inevitable.
Disagreements will occur based on real life choices such as clothes, favorite flavor of ice cream, friends, and sexual decisions. Unraveling the mystery of often untold and un-talked about choices seems really impossible and may not be necessary. Respect for differences is crucial. Fighting in teenagers and the need for separate friends and interests is normal and developmentally appropriate.
This is a time when twins should be making their own decisions and forming their separate sense of self outside of the twinship. Usually, twins who are developing their individual identity adequately have started to take different paths with friends and academics.