Moving from Love Addiction to a Meaningful Relationship
Both love addiction and sex addiction are often viewed as disorders of intimacy. In a codependent relationship one partner (or perhaps both) depend on the. When two partner love addicts get together, they form a deeply enmeshed relationship, often described as highly codependent. As they. Although the exact nature of the relationship between love and addiction has . As two of us have argued, addiction should be considered to be a spectrum of.
Finding new friends will help give you the rest and relief you need to look more clearly at yourself and think about the kind of person you would like to have a romantic relationship with. Slowly work your way back into a dating relationship. The important thing to remember here is to slow down and not force things. So slow down and let life come to you.
God will fill the hole in our soul, and help lead us to the right person to date at the right time. Develop a meaningful relationship with God. He is the only One who can give us peace and confidence when we feel alone. Because in a real sense, we are not totally alone if we have a relationship with God. He loves us millions of times more than we can ever love ourselves.
We need to turn our whole desire to be loved over to Him.
After all, He is the very essence of love. Take time to find and know God. He alone will transform our lives. Begin to look for healthy qualities in the people you meet. For example, Sarah had thought through the kind of person she would like to date. A good relationship takes an equal amount of commitment from each partner. You have to allow your partner their personal space, allow them to spend time with their friends instead of always wanting to know where they are.
There also needs to be equal understanding and support from both partners. Relationships are mainly about equilibrium and stability between the partners. Love addict — A person who seeks aggressively seeks intimacy and connection often based on a fear of abandonment to the point that they lose themselves at addictive levels in relationships.
Co-addicted Relationships Part I: Two Love Addicts | Male Codependence
Love addiction — A form of obsessive-compulsive behavior that is used to medicate intolerable intimacy deficits. Examples of this are what we call sex addiction, relational addiction and romance addiction. Love avoidant — A person who aggressively seeks to evade intimacy and connection to the point that that often abandon the people they declare love for.
Love avoidance — A form of controlling behavior that is designed to help an avoidant stay away from deep and uncomfortable intimate relationships to the point that they often engage in some form of abandonment.
- Trading Love Addiction For Meaningful Relationships
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Examples of this are sex-avoidance, intimacy anorexia and hyperactivity. This whole thing, love addiction, revolves around the dysfunctional way humans live into their design as described here: We were created from the beginning as intimate and relational beings. Being alone is an unnatural state. So then, it is theorized here that love addicts and love avoidants have extraordinary levels of needs, deficits, fears and discomforts in the area of human to human connection known as intimacy.
These things form various dysfunctions and maladaptive behaviors in us that lead to what we are discussing here the three basic relationships; love addict to love addict, love avoidant to love avoidant and the most, common love addict to love avoidant. It should probably be noted here that these three are all co-addicted relationships — where both partners have addictive natures.
Both parties are trying to get their needs met, their deficits wiped out and their fears allayed. These relationships can be highly intense; they can seem explosively good to both sides at the beginning, but eventually that changes.
About Love Addicts and Love Avoidants
The problem is that a love addict acts in an obsessive and compulsive way toward the partner and toward the attachment they have. When two partner love addicts get together, they form a deeply enmeshed relationship, often described as highly codependent.
They often treat each other as if the partner was psychological clay and they were the potter. Commonly, one of them is a little weaker in this than the other. The weaker one has to do something to avoid becoming overwhelmed by the stronger.
One thing they do is to become a love avoidant, an unnatural role for them. When this happens, all the fizz seems to disappear and a break-up is likely. Another is to create an explosive ending to the relationship; sometimes this can be extraordinarily dangerous. The Love Avoidant to Love Avoidant Relationship As one might expect, when two love avoidants get together they form a low intensity relationship. They both are very comfortable with this because they can avoid connecting deeply.
This is most often some form of work addiction, such as workaholism or taking a high travel role at work. But it could be that one partner becomes highly social, is on various committees, gets into politics, is at church 7 days a week, or other similar home-avoiding activity. Sometimes, in addition to the love avoiding addiction, a partner may also have a second addiction. Examples of this might be alcoholism, gambling, or over-shopping spending.
Similar to one partner developing a second addiction, this couple can often develop a joint addiction.